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The Only Good Things To Come From Kim Kardashian’s Selfie Book Are The Amazon Reviews

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I’ve never understood the Kardashian/Jenner craze, except for maybe Kendall Jenner in lingerie. They aren’t heroes or role models, yet a portion of our country thinks so.

Anyway, back in May, Kim Kardashian released a book called “Selfish” that was full of 350 pages of selfies. It was a dumb idea from the beginning, but now there is real data to back me up. Barely anyone bought the book.

From Radar Online:

But reps for Nielsen Bookscan told Radar exclusively that so far, it has only sold 32,000 copies. That represents just 0.8% of Kardashian’s Instagram fans. (*Nielsen BookScan’s U.S. Consumer Market Panel currently covers approximately 85% of the print book market and continues to grow.)

What’s more, the book is a critical flop online. Sitting at 1,607 in books, it’s ranked only 2.5 stars after 661 customer reviews. And those reviews have been scathing.

The reviews were the best thing to come out of this book release.

“A poor tree died for this.”

“I can recommend the audio version of this book. It lasts 37 seconds. The narrator basically says, ‘On this page, we have an idiot and her cleavage looking into a camera,’ 500 times.”

“It’s a little uncomfortable but doesn’t leave pieces behind when you go to wipe like other … generic brand toilet paper.”

“I’ve never been a fan of banning books, but I would throw on a red-star cap and live in a commune to get this thing off the streets.”

“They should perfume the pages so blind people can hate it, too.”

“I placed this book in the waiting room of my practice. My assistant continually finds it in the trash at the end of the day.”

“I had a choice between this and a monkey’s paw. I chose the monkey’s paw. They still made me take this book. I tried to burn it, but the match turned blue and went out. I threw it in a lake, and all the fish died. When I drove home, I found it in the back seat. I’m pretty sure that in seven days Kim is going to crawl out of this book and tell me about her new line of clutch bags. I have a very old, sickly neighbour; I’m going to let him read it and see if the curse transfers to him. Man, I hope so.”

“I bought this book because I wanted to go into the tropical fish business. I really thought this would be an instructional guide to Sell Fish. The woman with the trout face really threw me off. Apparently this book is actually about selling melons as I can now see from the cover photo. Buyer beware.”

HA! Good, I’m glad this stupid little book flopped. It’s time to take this self-absorbed, drama queen down like 800,000 notches. Bring her back down to earth and then some. Let’s bring back the real role models of America, like those who aspire to be doctors, lawyers, and businessmen. We should be looking up to families like the Rockefellers, Vanderbilts, and Fords since they actually did something impactful in life.

Let’s hope this is the beginning of the downward spiral of their popularity.

[via Radar Online]

Image via YouTube

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Harrison Lee

The Boulevard is a Content Manager for Grandex, Inc. He hates soccer and terrorists. He will forget more about sports than you will ever know in your lifetime.

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