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The Overbearing Fraternity Girlfriend

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fraternity girlfriend

She’s everywhere at once. She attends every rush function, every philanthropy event, every setup for every party, and would even attend the IFC and chapter meetings if she could. She’s rude and pushy. She’s annoying and condescending. She’s bossy, arrogant, and oversteps her boundaries. She’s the overbearing fraternity girlfriend.

I bet you’re already thinking of her right now. God help you if you do, screw you if you don’t. The overbearing fraternity girlfriend exists only to live her life vicariously through your chapter. Sometimes, she doesn’t start out this way. Maybe her boyfriend — possibly your pledge brother — and his newly-acquired letters post-initiation turned her into this monster. Maybe his post-initiation JI glow rubbed off on her and she felt the power too. Maybe she’s always wanted the privilege and lifestyle that comes with letters and she’s trying to enjoy his as much as possible because she has none herself. Whatever the case may be, she’s a nuisance, and she must be stopped. They all must be stopped.

Her problem is that she does too much. She’s a tryhard in every sense of the word. She gets into her boyfriend’s ear and tries to get him to enact the changes she wants to see in the house (as if she knows what’s best for the house…) She tries to call the shots during rush events, telling the rush chairs and officers which guys are good and which to watch out for. “He seems like a good fit. I think you guys should consider him,” she says into the ear of a brother who IS NOT LISTENING.

At parties, she herself bites the bullet and signs up to be sober brother, or risk manager, or whatever you call the person who makes sure people aren’t giving themselves Everclear IVs. “That’s so cool of her!” you shout at your iPhone screen. “She’s making a sacrifice that most people don’t wanna!” you argue as you finish up on the toilet. You normally would be right, but that’s not the case here. See, she’s the sober monitor from Hell. She’s snatching the second and third beers of the night out of people’s hands in the name of “just making sure.” She’s sending girls that look better than her home to bed on the grounds that they were “swinging from chandeliers” when in reality they just caught her boyfriend’s eye. Wagon wheel just isn’t as fun with her hawk-eyeing everyone from the DJ booth.

Maybe I’ve been railing on this female geed a little too hard. Generally, these are sweet girls who get what they think are good intentions a little skewed. She only means well, and we love for the chapter girlfriends to help, but there’s a clear line between assistance and domination. No one likes that girlfriend, and people try to avoid the brother of the house who has that girlfriend, so then things become uncomfortable for everyone.

Please, ladies: help us out, by all means. Sometimes, we don’t know how to ask for it, so please do point out to us that one guy at the party wearing K-Swiss shoes, the Aeropostale polo, and a shark tooth necklace — God forbid we accidentally bid him later on. Just don’t take things too far, and let us handle our own business. And if that one creepy brother asks you if you wanna take shots in his room, tell us. We’ll handle him.

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