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The Ultimate DNC Drinking Game

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After languishing through the debacle that was night one of the Democratic National Convention, still hungover (both literally and figuratively) from the brigade of Trump children at last week’s RNC, I realized only a bottle of Knob Creek could dull my senses enough to make it through the Sanders-A-Palooza.

With that in mind and the unavoidable realization that our nation’s political system has spiraled out of control faster than Johnny Football’s career, I came up with this drinking game to guarantee by the end of the night you won’t be able to pronounce Benghazi.

One Shot:

• Every time a speaker adds the “Q” at the end of LGBT.
• If you don’t know what is meant by “Q.”
• Obama is referred to as solely “Barack.”
• A speaker directly claims the Democrats are “better off” due to Bernie Sanders.
• A Trump hair joke.
• A Melania plagiarism reference.
• A multi-millionaire mentions “income inequality.”
• “The upper one percent” (have a puke bucket, and perhaps 911, at the ready).

Two Shots:

• A Bernie chant erupts.
• Sean Hannity compliments a Democrat.
• Someone refers to Bill Clinton as “Hillary’s husband.”
• Elizabeth Warren’s physical appearance startles you.
• Startles your pet or significant other.
• A sign is shown in the crowd suggesting Debbie Wasserman Schultz be arrested.
• A Democrat mentions the second amendment.
• Bill O’Reilly smiles.

Three Shots:

• Hillary and Bill kiss on the lips.
• Barack Obama refers to himself in the third person. “Obama.”
• “Lock her up” is audibly heard from the crowd.
• Trump is sincerely complimented.

Five Shots:

• Hillary is not wearing a pantsuit.
• Bill Clinton is pictured with a cigar.
• An attractive woman is seen in the crowd.
• A Bernie protestor somewhat resembles a successful human being.
• A Bernie Protestor has a full-time job.

Ten Shots:

• Any candidate in the democratic primary not named Bernie or Hillary is mentioned.
• Jim Webb is allowed to speak.
• Lincoln Chafee is allowed on camera.
• It’s mentioned the Clintons attended Trump’s wedding.
• The word Benghazi is uttered by anyone in attendance.

Twenty-Five Shots:

• Bernie Sanders becomes the nominee.

Follow this blueprint tonight, and maybe you’ll be able to forget, at least temporarily, the reality of the “choice” we all face this November.

Image via Shutterstock

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Siblings of Mark Wahlberg

Sorry Mom & Dad. Follow me to prevent my suicide: @SiblingsOfTFM

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