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These Masturbation Booths Should Be Installed On Every College Campus In America

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You’re in history class, and the professor is droning on and on about the dates of old revolutions — all of which are going to be on the next exam. You’re stressed as all hell. Also, as you were flipping through the pages of your textbook, you caught a glimpse of an errant boob peaking out of a toga in an ancient Roman painting. You want nothing more than to unzip your trousers, squirt a dollop of moisturizer into your hand, and go to town on yourself. Unfortunately, jacking off in a crowded lecture hall is frowned upon.

That’s why this masturbation booth, courtesy of sex toy company Hot Octopuss, could change everything.

The GuyFi booth recently opened on the crowded streets of New York City, and it’s geared toward stressed out businessmen. But a Spank Hut would be right at home on university grounds, which house thousands of equally stressed out and even hornier college dudes.

Put one in the corner of every classroom. Throw in one of those cushioned benches with the disposable sheets of paper like in the doctor’s office. It’d be a hit.

They idea was gleaned from a survey which found that close to half of all men in New York City admitted to jerking it at work.

From Mashable:

Hot Octopuss was inspired by a Time Out survey, which concluded that 39% of the New York men it questioned admitted to masturbating while at work. A more expansive Glamour survey of 1,000 men in 2012 suggested 31% of its readers have done so.

Hot Octopuss created the booth so men can “take this habit out of the office and into a more suitable environment designed to give the busy Manhattan man the privacy, and the high-speed Internet connection, he deserves.”

“We may be insinuating that these booths could be used in whichever way anyone would like to ‘self soothe,'” a representative tells Mashable, “but the brand is not actively encouraging people to masturbate in public as that is an illegal offense.”

Are you kidding me, Octopuss? If you don’t condone people jerking off in there, what do you mean by “self-soothe?”

Sadly, it turns out the whole thing is a bullshit marketing ploy from a skeezy sex toy company. It seems as though splooge stations are still a ways off from becoming a reality.

Oh well. In the meantime, you’ll have to settle for finding that page in the textbook with the boob painting, scooting your chair all the way up against the desk, and going at it the old fashion way.

[via Mashable]

Image via YouTube

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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