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Thoughts And Confessions Of A TFM Writer

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Thoughts And Confessions Of A TFM Writer

Since I started writing here, a lot of people, plebeians and brothers included, have asked me what it’s like to write for TFM. Despite being a writer, I’m really not sure how to explain it.

Undoubtedly, this is some of the most interesting work I have ever had the opportunity to experience. As a writer, you are witness to the dregs and stinking bowels of society as well as a myriad of anonymous ass and titties, all of which make the world go round. I’ve seen and done some strange things all in the name of getting a story — like that time I ate cereal out of an ass on spring break. I’m still trying to piece together what happened that day but when I do, you’ll hear all about it. But again, there isn’t really a way to describe just what it’s like to be on this side of the world’s most entertaining publication source.

So, in an effort to try and convey to you what the day-to-day is like for some of us, I asked around to see how some of the other writers feel about being a writer: what it’s like for them, if it’s affected their normal lives, if there was anything they wanted to share with you readers, etc. I feel like I struck a gold mine with some of this stuff and I hope it helps relate to you guys what the good life is like.

When asked why they write for TFM:

“I basically get to rip on pansies for being PC and I make beer money doing it. Why wouldn’t I be a writer?”


“I’m a fat, white guy and it makes me happy knowing that I’m essentially catfishing all of you.”

Here’s to you, my friend.

“The look on her face when she realizes that the column I wrote is about her makes this totally worth it. Period. No pun intended.”

What are your thoughts on some of the articles you see here on the site?

“When I see articles that describe hazing incidents that get chapters shut down, I chuckle a little bit, thinking how soft they’ve gotten. Conversely, you can and will get shut down just for taking your pledges outside, so be smart about it.”

Nailed it with this. Don’t be idiots guys; otherwise there will be no more TFM.

“I would rather eat ass than munch box. Sorry, Dillon.”

“Honestly, I barely read anything on TFM; I’m more of a Reuter’s kinda guy.”

Credible and fact checked. Hmm, you do you, bro.

Is there anything you’d like to share with the readers?

“It’s pretty cool being a writer but I feel like I live a double life. I mostly try to keep the fact that I write for TFM under wraps. Otherwise, I would have a lot of problems with the sororities on my campus. And by sororities I mean FIJI. The girls aren’t huge fans of everything I write either, but they’ll get over it.”


Agreed. Remember, rush is year round, so go get those rush boobs.

“My advisor, Tom, still sleeps on the blue couch, hah.”

“Despite the occasional comment you see once every blue moon, none of them are as funny as they think they are. I’d say 80% of your “TFM” wall posts belong somewhere on a Fail Friday column.”

“I just want to say my ex is a bitch. Can you throw that in there?”

Here you go, all for you.

“Sometimes, writing articles is a pain in the ass. Most people have the attention span of a goldfish, so it’s incredibly difficult balancing detail and brevity. God, and I hate how everyone thinks I use a thesaurus. I’m sorry that you don’t understand 5th grade vocabulary. Maybe you should try Hooked On Phonics.”

We actually have a writer on the team, and he brought the fire.

“Pro tip to all my freshmen out there: beer before liquor, feel better quicker.”

At the end of it all, I realized that the life of a writer isn’t all that different from that of your Average Joe. If there was one thing that really sets us apart as writers, I would say it’s the partiality to sarcasm. These guys don’t take anything seriously, and neither should you.


To find out how to become a TFM writer, read this.

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Harhko, Esq.

Son of The Most Interesting Man in the World. Has a weakness for single malt scotch and older women.

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