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Thoughts Running Through Your Mind When Secretly Shacking In A Sorority House

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Shacking In The Sorority House

1. Damn, this room is clean.

2. How much Froyo can one person eat?

3. Those giant pink body pillows look comfy.

4. Starving,

5. No chance any of those water bottles have water in it.

6. Laundry drawer? That’s cute.

7. I see you, stray Hello Kitty notebook

8. Bunk bed time. How very middle school.

9. The house mom is going to be out for my blood.

10. She has a roommate?

11.What’s her name?

12. Seriously, what is it?

13. Wonder if she’s up.

14. Those snores are too loud to be real. Pulling the “fake sleep” act. Good form, roomie.

15. I see you peeking.

16. Sneaky.

17. Rat move.

18. Yeah, you saw that wink.

19. Can’t let her know we’re not the only ones awake. Could get awkward.

20. Better turn her toward the wall.

21. Blanket over the head is great for keeping the noise down.

22. How am I going to get out of here afterwards?

23. Second floor windows are made for jumping.

24. This bunk bed couldn’t be smaller.

25. Or louder. Or closer to the ceiling.

26. Ow, my head.

27. Where’s tylenol?

28.So much pain.

29. No more moving.

30. Wonder if that Theta next door from last night is up.


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J Parks Caldwell

J. Parks Caldwell is a senior contributing writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He frequently blesses the rains down in Africa.

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