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THROWBACK THURSDAY: 2013 Wife Mock Draft

In honor of tonight’s NFL Draft, this week’s Throwback Thursday column is the 2013 Wife Mock Draft…

Hannah Weinberg

draft

School: University of Maryland
House: Top-tier smart house
Major: Business Administration
GPA: 3.8
Hair color: Brunette
Height: 5-6
Weight: 119 lbs.

Pros:

-Highly regarded in Panhellic community, held exec positions for two years.
-Been called a “tomcat” by several ex-boyfriends.
-Runway model legs.
-Comes from money. Father owns houses in Breckenridge, Captiva Island and Scottsdale.
-Strong character, high integrity. Has never cheated on a boyfriend, even in high school.

Cons:

-Career-first woman. May not be a “team player” when it comes to child-bearing.
-Her father demands her spouse also be Jewish. Conversion may be in the cards.
-Considering business school in London.

Projected: Late 1st/Early 2nd

Outlook: Could prove to be good value, considering. Potential cornerstone piece for any partner. Medium bust potential, divorce could be a factor. Possible fall-back option in free agency once first round of divorcees hit the open market next decade.

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TheChampionsTour

The Champions Tour is a writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems. If you don't know who he is, just ask your older sister about him.

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