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Throwback Thursday: Brett Favre, Master of The Sports Spanking

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Holy shit…has anyone noticed that Brett Favre is still retired? The possibility of losing the entire season to a lockout had me so distracted I didn’t even have time to stop and think, “I really fucking hope that shithead Brett Favre doesn’t ruin another six months of SportsCenter.” I think I speak for all NFL fans in saying that we’d become accustomed to him popping out of retirement, sending a few dick pics, throwing an equal amount of TDs and INTs, then crying and retiring again. With all that can be said about Favre, you’ve got to appreciate his love for the game, and thank his personal physician for finally convincing him to stay the hell off the field. Favre was completely obsessed with the pigskin, and unbeknownst to me…the sports spank.

The sports spank has been an American tradition since the beginning of time, and Favre will forever be heralded as an all-time great. It takes an extreme amount of machismo to get away with this much man-on-man ass touching, even on the field.

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