We’ve already covered how the Olympics provided 450,000 condoms to their athletes in Rio (not a typo). In case you couldn’t tell, behind the scenes, the Olympics are basically one just giant fuck fest. In the past, sexually transmitted diseases have been an overwhelming epidemic at the Olympic games. Therefore, the organizers solved the issue by supplying these modern Greek gods with tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons (and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons…) of rubbers.
When you think about it, it makes sense. You have an international community of the most athletic people on the entire globe squeezed into one village. These are the most physically fit people on the entire planet, and they’re squeezed together living in the same spot. On top of that, they have tons of downtime. So naturally, they fuck like crazy. Like some sort of giant athletic, massively intense Olympian orgy. I can’t even imagine. I don’t think I want to. I DEFINITELY don’t wanna know what it smells like.
Well, this is the 2016 Olympics, so these prestigious athletes are going to play hide the salami in the most 2016 way possible. Ya see, times are rapidly changing. We don’t just chase tail the way we used to, no, now we have technology to help us. I’m of course referring to Tinder, the world famous dating app/ the reason your sister went missing for six months. And these fuckers are using this hookup app like CRAZY.
From Daily Mail:
The number of active users within the confines of the 2.5 million square meter village shot up by 64 percent, while the number of ‘swipes’ – the method by which users pick potential partners- soared by 69 percent.
Tinder also boasts a feature called ‘superlike’, where users pick the best-looking person they come across each day.
Perhaps unsurprisingly given the number of ripped, super-fit athletes on offer, that service also spiked by 73 percent.
It looks like business is a boomin’. I’m sure Tinder is already psyched for 2020..
[via Daily Mail]
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