In this week’s Throwback Thursday we take a look back to one of last year’s most popular columns.
Eli Manning—Ole Miss
Hey, I’m Eli Manning. I was a Sigma Nu at Ole Miss, and my Dad also was a Sigma Nu at Ole Miss. I’m a legacy, but not one of the awkward ones that you really want to blackball. My Dad made quite an impression there. His jersey number is the designated speed limit on campus. I have an older brother named Peyton, but people don’t think he’s as FaF as me because he’s going bald and I have a massive swoop. My swoop helped me land the blonde sorostitute that I’m married to. She also went to Ole Miss. That’s her in the photo, and she lets me get shitfaced because I’m a Manning. People like to make fun of me because I kind of have a dumb-face, but the joke’s on them because I have a Super Bowl ring. Yeah, I won the Super Bowl even though I’m not all that great at what I do. Even if this football thing didn’t work out, my Dad would’ve totally hooked me up. Just ask my other brother Cooper.