I had a couple of jobs in college, and they all pretty much sucked. If there’s one job I wish I could have had while in school, it would have been Gossip Girl cast member, because, well, that would have gotten me laid a whole lot. However, if there’s another job I would have liked to have had in college, it would have been a Total Frat Move writer. Cranking out lowbrow jokes, drinking stories, etc. to earn my drinking money would have been glorious, and when you’re living in a college town, it doesn’t exactly take a lot of work to earn a weekend’s worth of drinking money.
That’s my pitch to get you to apply to be a news writer/columnist for Total Frat Move or Total Sorority Move. It’s a new school year, and we are seeking new talent for our staff. If you think you have what it takes to entertain America’s privileged degenerates, not to mention the balls and/or desire to have your work read by millions of readers (seriously), then shoot us an email explaining why you’d make a great TFM or TSM contributor, as well as a sample of your work. Here are the instructions:
1) Send an email explaining why you would make a great TFM/TSM writer to firstname.lastname@example.org. Feel free to include a résumé as well, though it isn’t necessary.
2) With said email, attach at least one original* writing sample that you believe best demonstrates your ability to be a successful TFM/TSM contributor.
*i.e. don’t send me a history paper you got an A on. I will delete it and wish you a mediocre life. Sending previously published work, however, is totally fine.
3) Eagerly await my response.
If you are added to the TFM/TSM staff, the pay scale for remote writers is as follows:
News story (generally 300 – 500 words): $15/per submission – no limit
Column (generally 600 – 1000 words): $25/per submission – no limit
To put that in perspective, if you write three news stories and a column every week, that’s probably your weekend booze money.
There is a short probationary period before we add you on as a fully fledged staff member, but after that, moderate amounts of money are yours for the taking!
Send us your stuff today.