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I’ll be honest, since moving to Austin I’ve dated girls who, when I was in college, were like 13. And I can’t even act like what is on this tape isn’t the type of thing I would say in a joking way. Something like, “My second wife is currently learning how to read.” Of course, it’s something I’d say behind the most closed of closed doors. Locked doors. With a towel stuffed at the bottom. And to the closest of friends. Ones who knew I was obviously joking.
Or, you know, on the internet to thousands of people. Fuck me I’m so Goddamn unemployable.
So it’d be hypocritical of me to act like the actual words that Trump spoke on this 1992 tape, when he was 46 years old, are disturbing in and of themselves. Sure, a lot of people might find them terrible regardless, but to me context is important. And I guess the difference — the gaping bottomless canyon of a difference — is that despite the fact that this sort of thing is more or less in line with my and many other men’s senses of humor, I, and every guy I know, would never say anything like that in front of an actual fucking little girl. And while sober and in public to boot.
That’s where it goes from, “Oh haha you perv” to “If that man shows up to our house you close the door and come find me and DO NOT get into his car, ever.”
Here’s the clip. It’s at the very beginning of the video so you can disregard the commentary that follows.
I mean, yikes. Does this man not understand microphones? Does this man not understand… talking? The answer has to be no to both. He has a very, very — the worst, it’s terrible — understanding of those things.
Again, the fucked up thing about this tape is that he’s saying what he said about a little girl while she is standing right next to him. A little girl who he literally just had a sweet, fatherly little chat with. That takes it to a whole new level. Once more, yikes.
And quite savvy of Hillary Clinton to save all these videos for October after she finally realized that liberal voters on the fence about her, and most of America, were too stupid to understand the political and professional deficiencies that disqualify Trump* from being president.
*This does not mean that I endorse Hillary Clinton. She is also not an ideal candidate for president. But if you don’t see how shitty Trump is, pull your head out of your ass.