Alyssa Schoener
The seventh episode of So I Was Like came out today (Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Youtube).
I don’t do rules. My parents know this, my friends know this, my teachers growing up knew this, my bosses know this, the internet knows this. But do you wanna know who didn’t know this? Whoever decided to give me a bid to a sorority in college.
You see, I went to the University of Alabama. The sororities there are HUGE on rules. It’s kinda like everyone is a carbon copy of each other and they’re robots just following a list of things they have to do.
For example, during pledgeship, there wasn’t necessarily any hazing, but there were rules. So technically for me, that was the same thing. Some of the rules included:
- How you can and can’t act at parties
- What you can and can’t wear
- You can’t wear your hair in a party pony (that was my favorite hairstyle back in the day so you can imagine this was extremely tough for me)
- You can’t go to bars
- You can’t sleep at a guys place (also very difficult for me, I love cuddling)
There were plenty of others but those were the ones that I was really passionate about NOT having. So yes, you guessed it. I broke every single one. Once I was “initiated,” there were other rules as well. Kinda rude that I went through eight long weeks of purposely doing things I wasn’t supposed to, just to learn I would have to dedicate even more time to breaking rules. Fortunately for me, it was really easy.
The rule that really crossed the line for me was the social media rule. Before I even had followers, I tweeted that there is NO WAY Colton from The Bachelor is good in bed if he’s a virgin and I got a paragraph sent to me about how I “represent” an organization. I dropped literally three days later.
I was always curious as to who turned my tweets in to the authorities and a year later I got a DM (from a freshman) telling me the philanthropy chair was bragging to a bunch of freshman at lunch about how she turned my tweets in. Yes, the girl who raises money for children dying of cancer, was so concerned about my sexualized Bachelor tweet that she turned me in. She’s such a sweet girl.
Anyway, if you’re in a sorority. Be A Problem. Sleep with everyone, tweet like a whore, don’t pay your dues, don’t show up to things. Be A Problem.
