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Two Idiots Set Fraternity House Basement On Fire, Fire Director Questions How They Got Accepted Into College

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Some people never truly grow out of their high school pyromaniac stage. If it’s flammable, they’re going to make sure it burns. While incredibly entertaining, the dangers of setting random shit on fire–especially inside your own fraternity house–usually outweigh the momentary thrill you receive from watching stuff burn. At least, that’s what sane, sober logic would lead you to believe.

A couple of fire-loving idiots nearly burned down the Phi Kappa Theta house at Penn State University this past weekend. They repeatedly doused the sand in their basement with gasoline before igniting it.

Why they have a basement full of sand is yet to be determined. I want to assume they had a party or some other event that had a sand-related theme, but just as every other incident that occurs in a fraternity house, you must expect the unexpected.

After a while of living out their pyromaniac wet dream, the two finally goofed and lit a couch on fire. This caused the fire alarm to go off and the automatic sprinklers to turn on. In an effort to hide their stupidity, someone from the fraternity house called the fire department and cancelled the alarm. In fact, nobody from the university knew about the fire until a maintenance worker visited the house several days later.

When the area’s fire director eventually inspected the house, he questioned how the two geniuses even got accepted into college–and it is one of the best quotes I have ever heard from a college town official.

From WJAC:

“This is an explosive liquid and it is always giving off explosive vapor, and you are using it in an enclosed space and you are going to light it on fire, how do you get into college?” Steve Bair, fire director at Centre Region Council of Governments said.

Did you two hear that?! The fire director publicly questioned your intelligence!

The fire director followed his first quote with yet another gem, stopping just shy of referring to the arsonists as “children.”

“This is something you teach children not to play with, fire; these are adults and these adults who should have known better, it is very disheartening,” Bair said.

Police are currently investigating the incident and the two may face charges.

Don’t play with fire, children.

[via WJAC]

Image via Penn State IFC

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Bogey Wells

Bogey Wells is a Senior Freelance Writer for TFM News and a former summer pledge intern at TFMHQ. His Spotify playlists are pure garbage. Email:

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