It’s well known that transitioning from undergrad to postgrad life is a daunting task. Being surrounded by beautiful, carefree, 18-22 year old girls every weekend is a privilege most of us take for granted – and a privilege some college graduates would go to immense lengths to get back. For some, this means becoming the rarely liked, often unemployed alumnus who comes back to campus every weekend to prey on the young sorority women who are unfortunate enough to cross his pathetic, drunken, self-pity filled path. For others, it means taking advantage of his postgrad paycheck and indulging in weeklong, coke-fueled benders around the country to satisfy his insatiable desire for binge drinking and stranger sex.
Finally, there are some sick, perverted bastards like 39-year-old Sean Maas from Wilmington, Delaware. Early Wednesday morning Sean was arrested for stealing lingerie and attempting to sneak a naked peek of a 21-year-old student from the University of Delaware.
Around 1:30 a.m., Newark Police officers responded to a home there after a passerby saw a man crouching near a first-floor window. As officers approached the man… they saw that he was in possession of women’s lingerie hanging from his waistband. As an officer attempted to take Maas into custody for questioning, he fled on foot. The officer pursued him on foot and used his Taser device after Maas refused to stop. Maas was struck in the back by the Taser prongs, causing him to fall to the asphalt, and he was taken into custody without further incident. Maas sustained abrasions to his face and a broken tooth as a result of the fall.
Officers were unable to determine whether the motive was the deeply rooted, all-encompassing sexual frustration that had been brewing in Maas for the previous 20 years, or if it was just some kind of bizarre reaction to the election results.
We can delineate one clear and important lesson from this: peeping toms don’t often possess the escapability of John Blutarsky (NSFW).