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University Of Southern California Releases Ridiculous And Insulting List Of Greek Party Rules

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The University of Southern California did its part to ruin Greek life when they rolled out 11 pages of ridiculous, impossible, and insulting party rules.

One rule mandates that all Greek social events have at least one unarmed security guard employed per 50 guests. With security guards charging AT LEAST $150 a night — and that’s for the bottom of the barrel ex-cons with a predilection for nonconsensual sex — the cost will add up.

From Campus Reform:

The new policies also require fraternities and sororities to hire a minimum of one bodyguard per every 50 anticipated guests at any party where alcohol is served.

Does USC know how sketchy bodyguards can be? At the OG USC (University of South Carolina) where I went, the university recently mandated that the tailgate lots have security guards. When I went back to visit, I heard about all kinds of bad shit security guards did, like smacking women’s asses and slamming guys to the ground for looking at them the wrong way (the guards often snuck some alcohol, too). We’re talking about big-ass, uneducated neanderthals who base their self worth off of asserting their strength over others and were too unpredictable for even the police force.

The rules also bar Greeks from advertising their events via public social media (private Facebook invites are kosher) or with flyers on campus. I don’t know if that includes philanthropy events, too.

Further, Greeks are now required to provide a guest list of partygoers to Greek leadership. This is easy enough to fake, but who wants to go through the hassle? And more importantly, what’s the point? I assume it’s so IFC can cover their asses when a party overflows and the cops get called. They can say, “Well, they told us there would only be 15 people over for a night of Jenga — it’s not our fault it turned into a 500-person, 5-animal orgy.” But even if the leadership denies knowing about how big a party would be, the rest of the Greeks can and will be boned for another group’s incompetence. Guest lists are a waste of fucking time.

But the list of rules goes from bad to insulting.

One rule states that at male/female parties, no guest may leave the “public areas” of the venue if they have had more than two drinks.

“In addition, no woman/man shall be permitted beyond the public areas of a fraternity/sorority if either the visitor or any host of that visitor shall have consumed more than two standard-sized drinks in the preceding four-hour period,” the new procedures demand.

Don’t wander too far into the frat house, kids. Ya might stumble into a RAPE TRAP. You’ll walk into a room, step on a creaky floorboard, and plummet into a trap door full of erect penises.

These types of laws reinforce the bullshit belief that women are much more likely to be raped at a fraternity party than at a geed party. They’re not.

These rules seem so ridiculous that they would be unenforceable, existing solely as a formality. Unfortunately, many of them will be enforceable, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw a fraternity go down because of it. There was an entire team of kids who went undercover as rushees at the University of South Carolina to see if there was drinking at rush parties. When they reported it last fall, 13 fraternities were suspended. People this shitty do exist. There are probably a few people in your own chapter who are dying to lay down the law on a fellow member (probably sororities more than fraternities).

And the worst part? They think they’re doing a good deed because bullshit mandates like the one USC just rolled out reinforce the stereotype that Greek life is so out of control that they need to be dealt harsher restrictions than the rest of the student body. The numbers are not significant enough to justify that.

[via Campus Reform]

Image via YouTube

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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