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Wisconsin FIJI Give Brother Fake Award, Dunk Cam Him During Acceptance Speech, Entire Chapter Goes Crazy

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This story comes to you straight from my own undergraduate chapter: Phi Gamma Delta (FIJI) at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Here’s some background information. The story centers around my fraternity brother Colin. You might know Colin from his 2011 hit YouTube series “Talkin With Colin,” which went gold. It didn’t win any actual awards, of course. It merely went gold in the sense that its value has steadily declined since 2011. Check it out.

Colin, who pledged fall semester of his sophomore year and is currently a senior, went to his first fraternity formal this past weekend. Kid waited two years to go. Absurd. Despite numerous plots to kidnap him and stick him in the charter bus’s cargo bay over the years, Colin managed to weasel his way out of going to every formal.

For reasons unknown, our boy C finally decided, on his own accord, to break down the walls he’d built in his head to keep out fun and to let loose at fall formal this past weekend. Maybe he realized that he needs to cherish his last year in college, maybe he wanted some good talking points for a renewal of “Talkin With Colin” — who knows.

To commend Colin for his stunning and brave achievement, our chapter president handed brother Colin an award for finally attending formal at our chapter meeting this past Monday. At least, that’s what Colin thought was happening. In reality, it was all an elaborate ruse to have Colin posterized in front of the entire chapter.

BOOM SHAKA LAKA! Let’s see that from another angle, Jim.

Put that man on a poster, and bring it to spring formal.

We all love you, Colin.

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

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