Tyler, the guy who was alleged to have pooped his pants in a Cincinnati casino, DID NOT DO IT.
Earlier today, I reported on the encounter and defended Tyler’s honor against those greedy casino bastards.
Almost immediately, I was contacted by Tyler. In an exclusive interview, Tyler disclosed to TFM the details of his horrific night spent at the Jack Casino.
Basically, the casino does this promotion where they give out $1000 of cold hard cash every three hours to the poker room. Tyler, being the genius that he is, realized that if you go at the 4:00 or 7:00 a.m. hours, the odds to get your hands on some of that loot increases substantially.
He and his crew have become regulars of sorts, playing the graveyard shift frequently. After winning multiple times, Tyler believes his crew may have started to rub some of the longtime regulars the wrong way (not to mention casino management).
After spending a degenerate amount of time in the local casino, it was right around the 4:00 a.m. hour when Tyler needed to, as he put it, “push out those coffee pees.” Fearing that he may miss the next drawing, he zoomed his way to the bathroom to drain the snake.
It was on the way back from this excursion that he was stopped by security. This was the point at which the head of the poker room vaguely described to Tyler that casino guests had complained that he had an accident and proceeded to throw his underwear away in the restroom trash receptacle.
Now, if you read my original piece, this is where I posed the question: Why didn’t they just ask to see if he had underwear on? That would surely prove his innocence.
It turns out this is one of the reasons we were put in contact with Tyler. He says no other news outlet had the foresight to pose such a simple question.
As it turns out, HE DID SHOW THEM THE UNDERWEAR!
And he says casino cameras will prove that.
The story doesn’t end there. It turns out that Tyler’s boys can’t hang, so they were cashed out when all of this was taking place. Since it is absolutely insane for someone to so strongly accuse another human of pooping themselves, Tyler became nervous. Maybe he had a stain on the back of his shorts? He had moved seats right before the drawing… maybe the person before him peaced because they were the poop culprit? Why else would you walk out just minutes before getting an opportunity to win a thousand big ones? Many thoughts rushed through his head. Unfortunately, there were no brethren around to confirm or deny his fears.
It was out of this irrational thought that Tyler frantically left the casino. Only after leaving did he realize that there was indeed no stain, and, for good reason, he became fucking pissed.
Who was to blame? Had jealous poker players manufactured a false report? Was the casino sick of his hot streak? We may never know the true story. One thing is for sure, though: Tyler did not poop his pants in that casino.
Tyler is upset about the whole ordeal. Can you imagine how embarrassing that must have been? Everyone is going to forever know him as the poop guy.
He is current weighing his options in seeking legal action against the casino. Overall, though, he realizes the humor of the whole thing and can still have a laugh about it.
“Honestly, I just hope they learn to train their staff better to deal with these types of situations,” Tyler said.
Still have trouble believing his story? Tyler gave me one last tidbit. At the exact moment that we spoke, he was wearing the infamous pair of pants. Who would ever dare wear a pair of pants they’d previously soiled?
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