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USC Bans Alcohol From Football Locker Room, FINALLY

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USC head football coach Steve Sarkisian resembled a drunk best man roasting the unsuspecting groom about past hookups and hardcore drug experimentation amongst his horrified family members and in-laws during Saturday night’s annual Salute to Troy event. In attendance were alumni and donors expecting another lame, routine “Let’s get excited for the season!” pep rally, but were instead treated to an absolutely electric atmosphere led by a very inebriated (allegedly) and foul-mouthed Coach Sark.

While slurring his words, he “used inappropriate language while introducing his team,” and even went in on USC’s Pac-12 opponents, talking about how much “they all suck.” Yes! I love it. My kind of coach. That’s a player’s coach right there.

Here’s how he closed his speech:

The No Fun Police at USC disapproved and Sark issued an apology, via ESPN:

“I sincerely apologize to my players and staff and to our fans for my behavior and my inappropriate language at our kickoff event Saturday night,” Sarkisian said in a statement released via the school’s sports blog Sunday morning. “I have a responsibility to all of them and I let them down. Pat Haden talked to me after the event about my actions and I assured him this will not happen again.”

Now, perhaps related to Sark’s affinity for excessive alcohol consumption prior to public speaking events, USC has reportedly banned alcohol from the football locker room “for games this season.” Interesting move, to say the least.

Banning alcohol from a locker room full of student-athletes, huh? That just BEGS the question: How are the players supposed to turn the fuck up before games now?

[via ESPN]

Image via Twitter/ @CoachSark

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email:

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