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USD Student Arrested For Egging Cops, Just Wants To Go To Class

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If all parking enforcement officers are anything like the brain-dead idiots my university sends out on patrol, I can understand any grudges someone may hold against them. I view university parking enforcement officers as those who were too incompetent to work for the TSA, but are just good enough to avoid working the graveyard shift at Taco Bell. They are some of the scummiest people on campus, and anything that inhibits their job (or just makes their lives a little worse) is fair game in my book.

One student at the University of San Diego apparently shares my view, as he was arrested yesterday for throwing eggs at a parking enforcement officer who was writing a citation for a truck parked illegally. Though the truck did not belong to him, Lorin Moll decided it was a great opportunity to take action against the unsuspecting officer. He successfully hit the female officer with one egg, which prompted her to call the police for backup. When a police officer arrived, Moll began throwing eggs at her, too. Once additional units arrived, Moll was arrested and told police that he didn’t have time for this because he had to go to class.

Obviously aware of the values of a college education, Moll was quoted, saying the following to the arresting officer. From ABC 10 News:

I don’t have time for this. I have school to do today. I have school. That’s more important.

While a valid argument, assault of a law enforcement officer usually does not go over well with the police. Moll was eventually booked on five counts of misdemeanor assault on a police officer and was being held on $5,000 bond.

Let this be a lesson learned for all of you. The next time you feel the need to throw eggs at parking officers, wait until you are out of class for the day. Jail can wait.

[via ABC 10 News]

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Bogey Wells

Bogey Wells is a Senior Freelance Writer for TFM News and a former summer pledge intern at TFMHQ. His Spotify playlists are pure garbage. Email:

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