Doing the right thing, but being a real asshole about it. TFM.
Declaring it a “good talk” after she angrily storms out of your room. TFM.
Loudly slurring, “This fucking guy!” when running into your TA at the bar. TFM.
“So you’re positive that this is safe?” TPM.
Realizing that it was actually you in the scandalous photos. TFM.
Snapchatting your boss inappropriate pics because your dad is his boss. TFM.
Dad telling you openly that your new slam looks better than the last one. TFM.
Asking her if she’s drunk when she tries to initiate pillow talk. TFM.
Intuitively detecting daddy issues like sharks smelling blood in the water. TFM.
Telling the most emotionally fragile pledge, “I know what you did, and it breaks my heart,” and him having no idea why. TFM.