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The celebratory heater after a remarkably mediocre workout session. TFM.
Borrowing a pledge’s razor and returning it with your beard fully intact. TFM.
Ending any potentially controversial text message with an American flag emoji. TFM.
Asking the pledges, “Do you think I like doing this?!” when they all know you very much enjoy it. TFM.
Taking an extra long shower in the morning to see if she’ll leave. TFM.
“I’ll grab his arms. You take his legs.” TFM.
The Jordan shrug after your fourth failed attempt at remembering her name. TFM.
Treating it like a game of Jenga when pulling your arm out from under her in the morning. TFM.
Attempting to make a good first impression without realizing that you’ve already made several bad ones. TFM.
Telling her you only drink top shelf while holding a Natty. TFM.