In a world where only like 3% of people good look naked, you get exposed to a lot of bad naked. Think the HBO show Girls, or every time you look in the mirror when you get out of the shower. Where you generally don’t ever see any good naked is in public. Displays of public nudity — think #freethenipple hippy dippies — almost never are good. You never see someone as good looking as Sue Ellen Mischke flouting society’s conventions.
Now, take the timeless art of breastfeeding, for instance. Not that I see it that often, or that I stare when I see it going down, but every time I’ve accidentally caught a glimpse of a woman breastfeeding in public, it’s never been good naked. Never ever. Always bad naked. Maybe I’m just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but I’ve just come to expect all acts of breastfeeding to not be good naked. Candice Swanepoel has maybe changed all that, though. I guess breastfeeding can be good naked after all? I honestly don’t know what to believe. I’m eating onions and spotting dimes, and now I’ve got a Swanepoel breastfeeding picture on my Instagram timeline and I think I felt it move.
This is unequivocally good naked. And, if I’m not mistaken, it’s also a breastfeeding picture. So what we’ve got here is a good naked breastfeeding picture. All truths about good and bad naked I’ve come to hold as fact have been debunked.
I’m not asking for more public displays of breastfeeding, because that’d be creepy. But I guess at the end of the day, I wouldn’t mind seeing some more supermodels posting photos of them breastfeeding on a bench in the mall outside of the Auntie Anne’s Pretzels..
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