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We all know at least one person who is self-righteous and preachy. Probably some relative that, after your most recent three or four day bender, judges you harshly and tries to convince you that you’re going to hell or your penis is going to fall off. Maybe both. Possibly at the same time. This article was written by that relative, if they conducted sociology studies. The red-headed stepchild of the sciences strikes again.
In a move that should cause no controversy whatsoever, the author suggests that we should all forgo hooking up and return to those halcyon times when the closest thing you saw to sex in public was a couple clandestinely holding hands and giggling. The author states that by just being more modest and less sexually active, we might actually make sex more interesting. I may not have a degree on the subject, but I’m pretty sure there is no method of making sex more interesting that involves less sex. That’s like saying you can make a better cake by not covering it in icing, or adding sugar to the cake mix. It makes no sense, and probably ends up being a weird mess in the long run.
From The Washington Post:
In today’s college culture, it seems that taking a break from carefree sex, or even embracing dating, are a lot like having premarital sex in the 1960s. To dress up in a sexy Halloween costume — well, that’s just passe. Not only is everyone doing it, they’re bored by it, too.
Today, sexual experimentation might be getting to know someone before having sex, holding out for dates and courtship focused on romance rather than sex. From where I sit, meeting a student confident enough to say she’s not hooking up and is proud about that is as experimental as it gets.
Fun fact, professor: no rational college student is proud of not getting laid. It’s a biological imperative, and our hormones basically max out in our college years. We’re a demographic that has fucked like rabbits for time immemorial. In recent years, it’s simply become acceptable to admit we were doing it. If you think people were having less sex in the ’60s, you must have not been paying attention in your lectures to the couple awkwardly alternating fingerblasts and blow jobs in the back row of seats.
Abstinence isn’t experimental. It’s boring as fuck. The idea that a healthy relationship can only happen when two people know nothing about each other sexually is an outmoded ideal clung to by a demographic that is rapidly losing their relevance in American society. Most of us in this generation seem to go by the “try it before you buy it” policy with our relationships. This is a good thing, because if you hate sex with your partner, you’re going to have a shitty marriage. We need to stop beating around the bush on this issue. Sex is a very important element in a relationship.
According to the study, about 41% said hookups were negative for them. The rest gave them lukewarm to positive reviews. 41% is larger than 59% though, right? This totally means that most college students hate hookups and that society is failing us. The author is using data that doesn’t tell the story they want it to, which the data doesn’t support. Statistics, how do they work? The more I hear about these bullshit social science studies, the more I want to find all of these groups of social scientists, line them up, slap them all and then tell them to stop being bad researchers.
Stop trying to use your data to convince us that we don’t want to get laid in college. It won’t work. You can’t convince a boner to go away with math.
[via The Washington Post]