Our photos section has a ton of great content in it. Since the site’s inception, we’ve received thousands upon thousands of photos of y’all pulling some good ol’ fashioned TFMs. Obviously some are better than others, and while the dumbfuck intern was perusing through the photo submissions earlier today he came across what might be one of the best photos we’ve ever received.
It is a letter that the 1993 Pi Beta Phi chapter at UC-Berkley sent the school’s Phi Kappa Tau chapter regarding the exposure of some dicks, and it, along with the Phi Taus response, is awesome.
Here is the transcribed version of Pi Beta Phi’s official letter:
I am writing to inform you of an issue that has recently become a source of great stress among the sisters of Pi Phi. I have been receiving an enormous amount of complaints from girls whose rooms face the north side of your house. I have tried to call you about this, but have hung up before speaking to you because I was afraid that my emotions would cause me to be brutally frank. The issue to which I am reffering is the flagrant exposure of your members vulgar manhood. Although this problem has been a long and hard one to swallow with our Chi Psi neighbors, it seems that it will be much shorter on your end. As disgustingly as your house has displayed itself, I am willing to deal with this between the two of us. I would rather cover this up than further expose it in away that might be threatening to people like Mark Gelsinger. Please call me so that we can keep up our houses relationship.
Such a fantastic yet not too in-your-face letter. Nicole is trying to look out for the wellbeing of her sorority, whose members are a little tired of seeing some meat hang while their doing whatever sorority girls do in their houses (bake? Gossip? Beats me). Not to mention she is a master of wordplay. Got a good chuckle out of “long and hard one to swallow with our Chi Psi neighbors, it seems that it’ll be much shorter on your end.”
Phi Kappa Tau’s response might have been even better. They weren’t going to let Pi Phi keep them from flagrant exposure of their vulgar manhood.
It has come to my attention that some women of Pi Beta Phi have expressed concern over the exhibitionism displayed by the men of Phi Kappa Tau. We understand full well the fright — and excitement — you must feel after viewing the sheer size of our “vulgar manhood,” a distinction in which we take just pride.
However, we must keep in mind that our house is not the only one at fault. In the past few months I have noticed an increasing degree of involvement by the women of your sorority. It began with innocent notes posted on your windows and progressed to large lipstick kisses planted on the third-floor windows of our house. We can only marvel at the climbing skills of your women; scaling three floors of sheer stucco to leave marks of their undying affection truly melted the hearts of the Phi Tau men.
Last night, however, marked a turning point in your pursuit of the men next door. Women’s undergarments and lingerie hung from your windows, and we could not help but notice the large posterboard “WE WANT YOU NOW!” sign facing our house. Sunbathing activity on the balcony on the south side of your house seemed to be especially heave that day, and coupled with the fact that none of the twenty-seven women on that balcony wore a shred of clothing leads us to believe that the entire population of Pi Beta Phi would like nothing better than to fuck us dry.
Although we feel that you may not be able to contain yourselves, the men of Phi Kappa Tau would like to offer any assistance necessary in order to maintain good relations between our houses. We deeply appreciate your concern for our well-being.
Did they knock that response out of the park or did they knock it out of the park?
The sad thing is that if this were to happen in today’s world, these guys are being put on a skewer by the national media. The ’90s were a time when there were no worries about outrage. No worries about offending anyone. It was the best of times.
There is no doubt that the dude and lady responsible for these letters are now widely successful in their respective careers. You can’t be that witty and not get anywhere in life..