======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
It comes as no surprise that some of the biggest names in Hollywood started out as small names printed on fraternity composites. The interpersonal skills they developed during their time as members of Greek organizations surely played a role in helping them flourish when put under the spotlight (along with most of them being handsome-ass dudes).
A few months back, we showed you eleven celebrities’ composite photos, from Will Ferrell to Matthew McConaughey to Eli Manning, and used them to take a crack at guessing what the person pictured was like back in college. We received so many additional celebrity composite photos from readers in response to that article that we have enough to do a round 2. Let’s get into it.
1. Jimmy Buffett – Kappa Sigma, University of Southern Mississippi
It should come as no surprise that Jimmy Buffett has a super interesting fraternity past to match his super interesting (and jealousy-inducing) life. Having spent extended amounts of time in two different fraternities, Jimmy Buffett is way more fraternal than any of us could ever hope to be. The dude made a life out of our lifestyle, and there’s really nothing that can be said to that except “fins up!”
Jimmy has already thoroughly described what he was like back in his fraternity days in his autobiography (which you should definitely read), but here’s what my guess as to what he was like would’ve been if I didn’t already know.
Jimmy was probably the brother who would bring out his guitar after everybody was thoroughly drunk in an always-successful attempt to lead the party in song. If you were around him, you wouldn’t be able to help but sing along. No problem with that, obviously, except do you know who else would be singing along while making goo-goo eyes at Jimmy B the whole time? Your girl. Before Jimmy’s musical skills brought us a cheeseburger in paradise, they definitely caused some trouble there.
2. Pat Green – FarmHouse, Texas Tech University
TFM’s resident self-loathing Texas Tech fan Harrison Lee described Pat Green as “Texas Tech Farmhouse’s only famous alumnus. Great Texas country musician. Big golfer. Loves Salt Lick BBQ.” So pretty much if you have no idea who Pat Green is, you’re either not southern, or not as southern as you think you are.
Look at him in that full tux. Seems a little out of place on a FarmHouse composite, but I respect that move. That hair, though… Not so much. He kinda looks like Angelica’s doll Cynthia from Rugrats got a sex change and came to life. Even with the flow going against him, you know Pat got all the action at Tech. You know what they say: if you’ve got pipes, it’s pretty easy to lay pipe.
3. James Marsden – Delta Tau Delta, Oklahoma State University
You probably know James Marsden best as Cyclops from the X-Men movie series and Richard White from 2006’s Superman Returns. His pledges knew him best as “that guy who was really, really nice to me throughout all of rush but then made me do bows and toes with bottle caps the first night of pledgeship. And the bottle caps weren’t under my elbows, they were in my eyes. Like contact lenses.”
There’s just something about Marsden that screams “closet psycho.” Not sure if it’s the impish ears or that crooked smile, but it’s something, and it terrifies me just looking at him.
Please don’t kill me, Jimmy.
4. Rob Riggle – Phi Gamma Delta (FIJI), University of Kansas
That blurry sumbitch in the above photo is none other than jack-of-all-trades Rob Riggle. Despite his low profile, dude’s been in more hit shows and movies than almost any other actor today. He’s like the white Samuel L. Jackson. From The Daily Show to Saturday Night Live to The Other Guys to 21 Jump Street to Step Brothers… the list goes on, notably to include this unforgettable scene from The Hangover.
IN THE FACE!!!
If Riggle, who served in the Marine Corps for 23 years, wasn’t a pledge educator, Lord strike me down with 50,000 volts from a taser. He pretty much plays a human educator in every role he ever takes on, and I have to believe he learned those skills as a KU FIJI. He was the pledge educator you both loved to hate and hated to love. He was so funny that you almost didn’t even mind getting hazed by him because it meant you got to bear witness to his antics. Keyword: almost.
5. T.J. Miller – Phi Sigma Kappa, George Washington University
Erlich from HBO’s Silicon Valley has the best celebrity composite photo we’ve seen thus far. If you rock the beaglepuss (also known as Groucho glasses, but why would you ever call them that when the other option is “beaglepuss?”) in your composite pic, famous or not, you’ve got a special place in my heart. If you rock it in any setting, really. That’s why I love Groucho Marx so much. Dude was a walking beaglepuss.
What else is there to say about Teej other than that he was undoubtedly the biggest clown in his fraternity? Dude was that brother who would shatter his own kneecap and then repeatedly kick himself in the face with his floppy, dangling leg if he thought it’d make you crack a smile. His jokes don’t always land (as evidenced here), but he’s always joking regardless. Love him or hate him, dude doesn’t take life seriously, and that’s an aspect we can all admire.