Physical activities aren’t for you. You’re more than likely used to the sedentary lifestyle of being on a couch 24/7. Physical activities? Who needs that when you have your magic tricks and computer games waiting for you on the inside. Your saving grace comes from the fact that you are assertive and are constantly making new rules for everyone to follow. Surprisingly, people will follow them.
King’s Cup is essentially the wine cooler of drinking games. It’ll give you a buzz, but it can also be a slow ride up the buzz mountain. Gets the job done, but isn’t the best way to go about it. Just like a triple-A prospect waiting to be called up to the big leagues, you’re not ready for the big show.
Like a suicidal maniac, the Dizzy Bat player has one goal and one goal only: to get rowdy. You’re not the sharpest tool in the shed, but that doesn’t deter you from thinking that every idea you have is a great one. You’re the person at the party who is the loudest and is causing carnage with your reckless abandon approach to walking. You’ve never met a wall that hasn’t needed a good hole punch. You’re the one who is always going after any girl who will give you the time of day, but you end up taking whatever the night gives you — which is usually a box full of pizza before passing out.
Don’t Fuck Your Brother
You are the alcoholic of your group. When your friends say drink, you say “how much?” Your stomach holds no limits when it comes to guzzling enough whiskey and beer to kill the average man. Your group of friends have nicknamed you after your drinking prowess. Your idea of a “casual barbecue” includes three kegs and two tubs of trash can punch. The most endearing trait that you have is your loyalty and dedication. You know Jimmy is one good chug away from alcohol poisoning and you’re the only thing that stands between him and half a handle of Jim Beam. You take it like a champ to keep harm out of Jimmy’s way because that’s just the kind of person you are.
Beer Pong is an American tradition, which makes you a man who cares about your roots. You like to keep things short and to the point. You don’t mess around with complex drinking games. All the American heroes have found themselves sinking cups during their prime. When you toss a pong ball into the last cup, it’s like the ghosts of American legends are there giving you a head nod of approval. Since you’re set in your ways, you won’t be the first to take a risk. While that may keep you from landing the hottest girl, you still take home nice trophies that any man would be proud to have. You have upper management written all over your forehead. Things are looking up for you.
You have been called “the life of the party” or “the man, the myth, the legend,” or “a ticking time-bomb,” and none of those accusations is incorrect. You have respect for tradition, but have a bit of an edge to you. You probably have a slightly frightening collection of firearms. You branch out and are the adventurous type. There is never a dull moment with you. When you’re feeling extra risky, you pour some Moonshine into your shot glasses for an extra buzz..