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Who’s Going To The Super Bowl?

falcons

Our writers give a quick breakdown of what they expect to see on the gridiron this weekend.

LifeOfaReilly

Packers take down the Falcons in a shootout. Falcons have a chance late, but Ryan throws a costly INT after spotting Olivia Munn in the crowd lifting her shirt up to reveal a painted chest. Gotta support the team. Patriots overwhelm the Steelers and Tom Brady mocks Deflategate by squeezing the ball and checking the air pressure after a QB sneak TD.

Old_Ironsides

Last week against a stout Texans defense, Tom Brady threw two picks and had a completion percentage of 47.4. The Pats put up 34 points and won by 18. Also last week, Le’Veon Bell had 170 yards rushing on 30 attempts against the Derrick Johnson-less Cheifs D. The Steelers put up 18 points and won by two. This game could get ugly quickly. I don’t see Big Ben and Mike Tomlin coming into Darth Hoodie’s house of horrors and getting the job done. Patriots over Steelers 27-16.

It’s finally Matty Ice’s time. The Packers D is a powder keg, and this is the week they revert to that incredible form that allowed them to give up 47 to the Titans and 42 to the Skins. Devonta Freeman and Tevin Coleman are going to pound that defense into the earth. It’ll be close because of the wizard the Pack have at QB, but the magic of the Hail Mary giveth, and it taketh away. Falcons take the Pack 38-34.

J Parks Caldwell

Steelers and Falcons advance, setting up a rematch where Big Ben completes his unfinished business and has his way versus the unprepared, unsuspecting, defenseless Georgians at night (allegedly).

Kramer Smash

Remember the Oregon Trail? The Falcons kind of remind me of the team you leave St. Louis with. After a couple decades of drowning in the Missouri river, having their oxen stolen, and running out of food and having to kill dogs, Atlanta might actually make it this time. I think they can take down a Jordy-less Packers team at home.

But New England is that team that plays on easy and manages to make it almost every play through, even when almost the entire entourage has cholera, exhaustion or a four-game suspension. Patriots sneak past Pittsburgh and dismantle the Falcons for a fifth* Lombardi.

El Taco

Steelers 31-28 over Pats because Big Ben doesn’t take no for an answer. Falcons bend over Packers 35-21 because Aaron Rodgers has daddy issues.

Karl Karlson

For the love of God, anyone but the Packers.

WJ Cope

Falcons-Packers looks to be the red-hot shootout of the year, and may end up being a race to 50 points if the defenses aren’t careful. Aaron Rodgers has been absurdly clutch and accurate since November, but I like Matt Ryan more against the Packers’ undermanned defense. I’m looking for Atlanta’s running backs to go off for a combined 250 yards from scrimmage. Falcons get the W, 45-33.

Patriots-Steelers is a lot harder to diagnose. Do we get the Tom Brady that threw two interceptions all year, or the one that threw two INT’s last week? Can Artie Burns and the Pittsburgh secondary handle the likes of Chris Hogan, Malcolm Mitchell, and Julian Edelman? Hell if I know, but this looks to be a close game. New England takes this one 27-24.

Whether we’re on point or hopelessly wrong, every possible permutation of the Super Bowl matchup looks awesome. Join us next week for our Super Bowl picks.

Want more football? Back Door Cover looks back on last week’s action and previews the championship games.

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WJ Cope

He’s the real reason people say “No one likes you when you’re 23.”

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