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Why I’m Still a Republican

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Over the weekend Missouri Representative Todd Akin made absolutely inexcusable remarks, which you’ve probably heard by now, about abortion and rape. It was just another case of a high-profile Republican talking out of his ass without considering the consequences. Of course this led to an all out thrashing of the right from the left, and probably slated Democrat Claire McCaskill to the US Senate for another term.

In my mind, the GOP is in its darkest days. I’ll be straight up – I’m a fiscal conservative and a social liberal. As such, I’m going to issue a challenge to all Republicans. Shut your goddamn mouths. You are not elected into public office to spew your idiotic morality speech to the mainstream. You are elected to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States of America. I couldn’t care less if you’re a Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist or Martian. Our country is in a ten-foot deep, mile-wide shit hole. Praying, hating gay people, cursing the left, being pro-life, pro-family or pro-whateverthefuck isn’t going to fix the problems we have right now. Some politicians may argue that this country is where it is because we “lost our values.” I say bullshit. We are where we are because we started caring too much about our values. Our values are OUR values, no one else’s. Keep that shit to yourself.

Defend our country from financial obliteration. Stop turning everything into a right versus left debate. Sometimes there isn’t a right answer, which is why this country has been locked in an abortion debate ever since the Roe v. Wade decision. There’s not a right answer to everything. Abortion is not a political issue. It is a personal opinion. Most abortions are done by way of a pill taken in the weeks after conception, but fervent pro-life supporters would like you to think that the doctor sticks a clothes hanger up there, twists it around and pulls out a kicking fetus. Abortion is a dirty word, but it’s not what most politicians would like you to think it is.

But back to why I’m still a Republican… I’m still a Republican because I believe at the heart and soul of the GOP it is a party founded on the belief that all Americans are given the right to live their lives in the pursuit of happiness with minimal government intrusion. It is a party that believes in the Constitution of the United States, and a party that believes war is an act of desperation, not intimidation.

I assume roughly 95% of you who read this site align yourself with the Republican party, and I can guarantee at least half of you are doing it for all the wrong reasons. A political party is a political party because of politics. Not religious affiliation, personal beliefs, or where you were born.

This is not an endorsement or condemnation of Mitt Romney or any other Republican political candidates. It’s bigger than that. It is a call to action. To stand up for what the Grand Old Party used to stand for.

Everyone deserves a chance to succeed.

The government shouldn’t solve all of your problems.

Religion and personal preference should not influence our laws.

This is not the country I was born in and it is certainly not the country I want to die in.

So, to the politicians (and to everyone) that represent my party, think about everything I just said next time you open up your mouth in a political debate. You can call yourself conservative all you want without giving any reason as to why, but if that’s the case then in reality you’re no better than the hippie on the street corner obliviously banging on his bongos.


Follow me on Twitter @ChampsTourTFM

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The Champions Tour is a writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems. If you don't know who he is, just ask your older sister about him.

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