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Word Around Colorado School Of Mines Is Some Freshman Got His Dick Stuck In A Shampoo Bottle

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College gives you a clean slate. No matter what your reputation was back in high school, you now have the opportunity to reinvent yourself into a completely different person if you so desire.

One freshman at the Colorado School Of Mines apparently set out to make a name for himself, and took the campus by storm his first day of the fall semester.

Now that’s how you make a splash. Kid’s been at the school for all of five minutes and he’s already got the most notorious dick in CSM history. Try to set the bar higher. You can’t.

So many unanswered questions. Was this a power play by “Bottle Boner?” Did he want to assert dominance over his roommate by sodomizing his shampoo? Was it an all-in-one hair, body, and face wash? Is this just what gets him off, or is he a Fleshlight guy that left his fuck toy at home?

Whatever the reason behind the madness, dude just needs to own it.

“Hey, aren’t you the guy that was balls deep in some Head & Shoulders?”

“Yeah, but that’s because I like to keep the hog fresh for all the honeys.”

Keep doing you, player.

h/t Chris

Image via Youtube

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

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