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Zuckerberg Pledges To Donate 99% Of His Facebook Shares, Roughly 45 Billion Dollars

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He also just had a kid, if that interests you, but the real story here comes from a couple paragraphs buried deep in a letter he wrote to his newborn daughter Max (who can’t even read yet, mind you). Zuck and his wife have pledged to donate 99% of his company shares — about 45 billion dollars — “to advance human potential and promote equality for all children in the next generation.” Blah blah blah what a horse’s ass this guy is.

It’s a shame that such a fortune is wasted on a selfless, philanthropic asshole like Zuck. Poor Max. That girl is only going to be left with something like $450,000,000. Think about inflation for me one time. What’s that gonna get you all those years later? Basically garbage.

Zuck and his wife Priscilla posted the letter to Facebook (obviously). Here’s the part about the 45 billy:

As you begin the next generation of the Chan Zuckerberg family, we also begin the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative to join people across the world to advance human potential and promote equality for all children in the next generation. Our initial areas of focus will be personalized learning, curing disease, connecting people and building strong communities.

We will give 99% of our Facebook shares — currently about $45 billion — during our lives to advance this mission. We know this is a small contribution compared to all the resources and talents of those already working on these issues. But we want to do what we can, working alongside many others.

Cool story, showoff. Guess what. A few weeks ago I gave this homeless man down the street from our office a smoothie shop punchcard for a free medium smoothie. It took me like four months to get 10 holes punched in that card, too. I would have really enjoyed a free smoothie, but nope, I gave it to that gimpy homeless man out of the kindness of my heart. I didn’t write a letter and post it to Facebook like a showoff. Didn’t need the recognition. But here I am sharing it on the internet, so now you’re making me look like a dick, too. Wow, dude.

After Max buys a Gulfstream, a few mansions spread across the globe, an island in the Caribbean, and a few other modest necessitates, she’s basically going to have zero walking around money. Having next to nothing while harboring insurmountable resentment toward her parents for giving away all that cash is no way to go through life.

Nice parenting, dickhead.

[via Facebook]

Image via Frederic Legrand – COMEO /

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email:

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