Time marches on, and the hot summer afternoons of September are behind us. We’ve traded in the micro khakis for the Peter Millar Autumn collection. That’s right, I’ve got that shit (PM) on. Maybe if your dad worked a little harder, you could too. I digress. Anyway, it’s Friday, which means we’ve got a fresh batch of fails for you.
You Make a Better Window Than a Door
I love the tenacity our friend shows here, but I’m afraid it’s wasted on a rental party tent. “This tent is not ready for what we’re bringing tonight.” Buddy, that tent is at least 25 years old and has seen at least 30 weddings.
Also, why are you laying down like you just dove through an actual window? You jumped into something that looks like the cover of a fourth-grade binder. There are no girls in this video, and honestly, I’m not surprised considering your actions.
Head in the Game
This video does not do it for me. I love a good punching machine moment as much as anyone, but I’m more of a lover myself (if any women are reading this, I’m 6’2”). Either way, this guy goes for the headbutt move and actually gets a solid score, but it’s the vibe that throws me off.
The real failure here is the monochrome outfit. Combine that with his headbutting antics and haircut, and you basically get the serial killer from No Country for Old Men.
ATO Pulled Through
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last two weeks, you know about ATO VT and the chance to make a statement for Halloween. If you’re not familiar, there’s not enough time to explain all the background but imagine the importance of the 13th Amendment mixed with the sheer swagger of John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. That’s how big this was.
So where’s the failure? It’s you, viewer, for not making it to ATO VT’s Halloween weekend. Loser.
OK, Let’s Drill
I know this isn’t a true Oklahoma drill. It’s more like one-on-one reps between an edge rusher and a tackle. But still, you can’t let a slightly overweight cop just bully you like that in front of the boys.
The lineman looks like a grown man (solid goatee by the way), but he couldn’t play powder puff for me, unless, of course, his dad works for Goldman Sachs and can get me an internship.
