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Game Analysis:

Hand up. I called a sweep, and just like when I labeled him a bust after his first two seasons, Brandon Ingram proved me wrong. The Pelicans played the perfect game. Like when my friend Anthony, who rarely gets laid, brings a girl home, they executed their game plan perfectly, but it’s probably going to be another few months before they repeat their success again. In almost every statistical category (except for like…free throws attempted), the Suns are a superior team. I know there is concern over Devin Booker’s hamstring; however, that’s a Dad playing in his first softball game of the year injury; there is no way a guy that competes as hard as Book sits on the sideline. Devin Booker could also quite literally drop twenty-two points on a peg leg.

With a team this dominant, with the guys we knew they had, and the guys that have progressed (shoutout Mikal Bridges), this is the Suns’ championship to lose. The Suns’ reign this year can not be emphasized enough. Every night they went out this season, I had to turn the TV off when the girl I’ve been seeing was over because it felt weirdly like I was watching BDSM. Plugging the holes at the five with JaVale McGee and Bismack Biyombo was an offseason move we’ve watched play dividends, as the Suns are somehow playing better team basketball than they did last year.
You know that one meme of Riley Reid and the six guys where she’s sitting on the couch? Yeah, that was the Suns in the paint game one. I expect much of the same in game three. Good for NOLA for sneaking a win in there, but even worst-case scenario, if Booker is sidelined, the Suns are a more complete team.

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