Well here we are.
College football is back. God we are so back. Everything from hearing Gus Johnson’s flawless and shiny voice, which literally sounds like sex, to hearing the click of pads hitting each other on live television… we are so back.
I don’t want to say ‘nature is healing’ because that may have been the most overused and, quite frankly, most incorrectly used phrase I think I ever heard in my life…. But there’s no question that college football wasn’t quite like its true self last season.
I don’t want to speak too soon, but I have every reason to believe that this season could in fact be one of the most entertaining and deserving seasons a fan could have.
With that being said, let’s add to the fun by having some skin in the game.
Well, just like last week, I got you covered with three locks (you’re welcome). I’m currently 3-0 with no intention of ever losing, so hop on this train before I start charging you for it.
(17) Indiana @ (18) Iowa, with Iowa -3.5.
Holy god, take the Hoosiers and the points, and take the moneyline while you are at it. There’s nothing to play for in Iowa for starters. Secondly, my hoosiers are trying to win a national championship… you really think a flimsy Iowa team is going to stand in their way. Hell to the no.
Number one seed Alabama @ (14) Miami, but bama is a 19.5 point favorite. Yeah, take Miami and the points. Bama winning by 20? First game of the year, new QB, on the road? No fucking way. Trust me.
Lastly, (5) Georgia @ (3) Clemson, with Clemson -3. Take Clemson. Technically it’s a neutral location, but it’s in Charlotte, not that it matters. Hammer that. Don’t think, just do it. Easy pick.
Well, once again, I’ve done my part.
I hope this helps pay off some of your rent. If by any unlikely chance these don’t hit (which is a statement I have to say, by the way) I am just another crazy guy on the internet who you shouldn’t listen to.
But when they do hit… be sure to check back in with me next week for more “financial aid.”