College Football Week 1: The Day After…

Oh boy.

So I got all of my picks wrong. 

Every single one of them. 

I went 0-3. 

By the way, it’s not like I was wronged due to some accidental little thing. I wasn’t barely wrong, I was hilariously wrong. 

My bets never stood a fucking chance. Now is your chance to blame me. But at the end of the day, the fault is yours, really, as you chose to listen to me and then further decided to gamble.

But the ride isn’t over just because you fall off the horse. I mean, it sucks, especially if you break something, like your clavicle. You can cry. No one said you aren’t allowed to cry. Calling your ex is also fair game, I don’t see how that’s relevant, but I’ll allow it.

My point is you can’t quit. If you fall off the horse, you get back on the saddle.

The one good truth about being at rock bottom is that the only way to go now is up. Unless of course I go 0-3 again. I would still be on rock bottom, I guess maybe moving sideways? But not down. More than likely we will be moving up.

We will be back next week with a new strategy and a hungry stomach. Seriously, because this was a rough weekend financially for me and I probably won’t be able to eat again until I get some picks right. Money is a little tight right now.

Current record: 3-3

Sorry, again.

Written by Henry Marken

I lost my pinky finger at age 4, but then found it again at a soup kitchen when I was 15. Survivor of a wild turkey attack (2008). I went to the University of Phoenix before it was cool to do college online. Currently in a lawsuit with Crayola after a devastating purple crayon incident.

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College Football Betting Guide: Week 1

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