Mailman Dave
It’s week one of the national football league, and week one is kicked off with the Bucs vs. Cowboys on Thursday night. If you’re like me and neither Tampa Bay nor Dallas is your favorite team, you know what makes kickoff even better? Making easy money. Now I believe that Tampa Bay will kick the shit out of Dallas, partly because I hate the Cowboys, but fuck trying to give analysis on this game when there is an extremely easy bet out there. Right now at WynnBet, you can bet $1 and turn it into $100 if either team scores a touchdown. All of the steps are below:
- Click here to register for WynnBet
- Click “Promotions” on the menu and hit “Deposit Now” once seeing the “Bet $1 Win $100” offer.
- Deposit at least $20
- Bet $1 or more on the Cowboys vs Bucs moneyline
- WIN AN EASY $100!
*Must be located in NJ, IN, TN, CO, VA, or MI to place bet*
Once again, I have no faith in the Cowboys, but it’s not because of their offense. Their defense will be god awful like it was last year, but their offense should be great. Dak’s health might be a concern, but my fat ass could throw 3 touchdowns a game to CeeDee Lamb, Amari Cooper, and Zeke. That’s all we are concerned about is if the Cowboys can score a touchdown, and they haven’t been shut out since 2018, and before that, it was 2003. The stats are on our side to get an easy $100.
I might not believe in Tom Brady for the future, but the man has 581 career touchdowns. He’s thrown more touchdowns than the number of tits you’ve ever touched. The last time Brady was shut out was in 2006, when you still thought that girls had cooties. The last time the Bucs were shut out was in 2012. Once again, the stats are on our side to win an easy $100.
This isn’t the 1980’s where teams want to play hard-nosed defense, run the ball down your throat, and kill as much time as possible. Defenses are given penalties for looking at an offensive player too aggressively nowadays. These stupid ass penalties might be annoying, but they give us points. Once again, that’s all we care about in this game since you can turn $1 into $100 if the Bucs or Cowboys score a touchdown over at Wynn Bet. The last time neither team scored a touchdown in a game was in 2018 when the Jaguars had 6 and the Colts had 0. That 2018 Jaguars team was all defense, no offense, and for the Colts, Andrew Luck played terribly.
There’s no way that Sith Lord Roger Goodell will allow the season opener to be a boring defense-led game. He knows that scoring gets the people going, and there will be scoring in this game. I can almost guarantee it. We have stats on our side, and worse comes to worst, you’ll lose $1. Your drunk ass has paid a random person $1 for a cigarette. The best thing that can happen is that $1 turns into $100. You would be dumb not to jump on this promotion!
