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Total Frat Move

I Tried All The College Drugs So You Don’t Have To

College has this weird effect where you just feel invincible. There’s a feeling that your actions don’t have any consequences and that death can’t even come close to you over your four years. While this feeling isn’t anywhere near the case, it still drives our decision making — our horribly awful decision making. Due to More

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Total Frat Move

The Five Hardest Things About Being A White Guy

You Say “Harder” But This Is The Hardest I Can Possibly Go:  Having sex with me is like microwaving a hot pocket. Not even the creators of hot pockets themselves would tell you they would want a hot pocket over a steak or a good chicken masala, but if you’re hungry enough, it won’t even More

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Total Frat Move

The Worst Sports Fans Part 2

I love writing these blogs because honestly, there are so many of you assholes out there that I don’t think I can ever run out of annoying types of people you might run into at a game. That said, here are four more fans you will want to avoid. 1. The Snobby European This person More

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Total Frat Move

5 Unspoken Rules Of Society

Nothing is more frustrating than somebody who doesn’t understand social cues. Whether you purposely choose the urinal next to someone or ask questions throughout the movie, not understanding the rules of society makes your face 100 times more punchable. Don’t get your face pummeled over something stupid, follow these five unspoken rules of society. Elevator More

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Total Frat Move

Goodnight Sweet Prince

The year was 2017. You started off liking the music on your playlist ironically, but it began to grow on you regardless of lyrical quality or production. The meme of white dogs with AirPods on was traveling like crazy, Pardon My Take announced a show on ESPN, and Bears rookie Mitch Trubinsky might be the More

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Total Frat Move

Drake Sliding into Ben Shapiro’s Sister’s DMs??

Aubrey “Drake” Graham, one of the biggest musicians in the world needs a Texas-sized bonk right about now. The superstar has recently followed Abby Shapiro, sister of controversial public figure Ben Shapiro, on Instagram. Ben is the reason for a lot of people falling into the alt-right pipeline with his videos that are usually titled More

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Total Frat Move

My Questions For Corporate Interns

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, the real world confuses me. Maybe it’s because I was coddled as a child or maybe it’s because I’m a film major who studies playing pretend for a living. Either way, I don’t understand how the world works.  When I go out with friends on weekends, More

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Total Frat Move

Gronk Retires From Football, Again

The NFL’s token frat boy has retired once again. Rob Gronkowski’s 11-year football career has come to a close as he announced his retirement via Instagram this afternoon. The 33-year-old future Hall of Fame tight end had been publicly contemplating retirement after this past season with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and has made up his More

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Total Frat Move

How You Know You’re Growing Up

Time flies when you’re having fun. It’s true. You may not realize it until it’s too late but college changes you. You enter a child, no matter how mature you think you are or how hairy your genitals may be, all freshmen are undeveloped little fetuses. That’s not a bad thing, in fact I’d give More

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Total Frat Move

What You Can Tell About A Girl From Her Tinder Pictures

Striped Summer Dress Girl From The Northeast: She went to a liberal arts college that’s acceptance rate is lower than Terrance Mann’s three-point percentage, she has a close relationship with her Dad who looks like he should be a college football coach even though he works in finance, and when Grandma dies, she’s getting a More

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Total Frat Move

What Your Favorite YouTuber As A Kid Says About You Now

Smosh: If you grew up watching Smosh, you either cover it up like a GOP State Senator coming home from a gay bar or love the show The Boys. Sometimes you get a little drunk and watch old Smosh videos, going on a spree of liking comments that say, “who all here in 2022?” I’m hating on More

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Total Frat Move

These Four Dudes Are In Your House

If you’re in a fraternity, beware of these four guys. The One Who Always Bools I’m pretty sure this dude doesn’t take classes. Whenever you walk into the living room, there he is lying on the couch with a bong in his hand and his Ugg slippers on while he plays some pre-pubescent middle schooler More

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