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Total Frat Move

What Your Liquor Of Choice Says About You

Tequila: Uhhhh…Hola! Just kidding. If you drink tequila, you are bricked up. Odds are you care about your physical appearance- which people on this app like to pretend is a bad thing because they’ve lost their minds. You go to the gym four times a week at least, your YouTube algorithm is filled with more More

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Total Frat Move

The Four Friends You Will Lose In Life

Druggy Friends: Maybe you have been teetering on getting blackout drunk five times a week, and there’s one kid in your contacts that will always be down to booze with you. Or maybe you’ve been practicing skiing more than Lindsay Vonn and when nobody else wants to cause a little damage to the arteries in More

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Total Frat Move

Top 5 Worst Celebrity First Pitches

A tradition as old as time itself, the opening pitch of a baseball game getting thrown usually by someone who has no business being anywhere near an athletic field of any kind. In light of the tragedy occurring yesterday at Fenway, (Steve Aoki throwing probably the worst pitch ever) I thought I would rank five More

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Total Frat Move

Staring Adult Life in the Face

College has flown by for me, as I’m sure it has for many of you. This is the last summer I have before graduating, which means that it’s pretty much the last summer before I have to grow up. I am staring adult life directly in the face, and it’s fucking terrifying. My friends that More

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Total Frat Move

Being the First Friend Back From College

You spent the entire drive back from school fantasizing about “back-home beers” with the guys that send a picture of your promposal every six weeks to remind you that despite the fact that since getting to college you’ve become a moderately fun human being, you’re still an unbelievable pussy. After dropping your bags in your More

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Total Frat Move

An Average Friday

It’s 7:07 PM, and the nine remaining beers in your fridge are teasing you like Bhad Babies’ exclusive content website (shut up, we’ve all searched it on Reddit). You initially planned to go to the gym today, but a pitch deck, a trip to Trader Joe’s, and a meeting that lasted longer than it needed More

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Total Frat Move

Moving To A New City

Something that a lot of you guys are about to experience is not talked about enough and really fucking hard. Many of you will be moving across the country because your parents paid for your college. Between the fact that our economy is about to experience a 2017 SoundCloud rapper level of depression (notice I More

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Total Frat Move

Today In Baseball

You know those videos of the make-a-wish kid going to Homecoming with the hottest girl in school? That’s the Cincinnati Reds right now. The Reds are undergoing this reverse Rudy Guliani character arc, where they were the biggest joke in baseball, and now you have to respect them because they are beating up on the Brewers like More

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Total Frat Move

Getting Kicked Out of a Phillies v. Mets Game

I’ve been going to see Phillies games at Citizens Bank Park since I was two years old. I’ve been to multiple games every season for as long as I can remember – and that includes the years in which the Philadelphia Phillies were an absolutely abysmal team to watch. In the nineteen years I’ve been going to More

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Total Frat Move

Smart vs. Stupid People of Our Generation

Politics It’s pretty simple: you aren’t going to get a single thing done by reposting something to your Instagram story. Let’s look at the recent Supreme Court leak for example: news leaks of Roe v. Wade being overturned, and the first thing everyone does is post something on their Instagram story about how disgusted they More

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Total Frat Move

The US is Experiencing A Cultural Shift

I’m not the first person to have this take, and I won’t be the last; your Aunt that came to your Christmas party with a bottle of wine she took down by herself will put this on Facebook in eight months, but I think a culture shift is apparent in the United States right now. More

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Total Frat Move

Top Five Poops You Take

Disclaimer: If you are a female who has even a semblance of sexual interest in me, read at your own risk. This will undoubtedly make you think less of me. 5. The Work Shit Depending on how comfortable you are pooping outside of your own home, this may not be your ideal situation, but if More

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