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Total Sorority Move

Comedy and entertainment from America's finest Greek communities

Total Sorority Move

Colton Underwood Proves You Can Be Gay and an Asshole

I’m sure you’ve heard the news that Colton Underwood from the bachelor is gay. He made history being the first gay bachelor and by proving you can be gay and an asshole. I’d love to preface this blog by saying how much I love gay men. Most of my friends are gay men. One of More

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Total Frat Move

Stretching a Dollar in College

Besides Chad who’s father pays for his binge drinking lifestyle, a majority of us college kids rarely ever have money to spare. But somehow, we always find a way to make it work.  First semester, we are always overzealous with our spending because our pockets are heavy with summer job moola. We tend to treat More

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Total Sorority Move

If Burnett’s Flavors Were Honest

Picture this, it’s your freshman year. You and your bestie are venmoing your sorority big to buy you vodka. They ask you, “what kind of vodka do you want?” You respond, “whatever’s cheapest!!!” Rookie mistake. They bring you back….. Burnett’s. Sure, it costs 5.99. But you do pay a price. It’s your liver and your More

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Total Frat Move

Okay, So Maybe Don’t Go On A Stranger’s Boat

Recently, I bullied my boss into sending me on a trip to Fort Lauderdale. I had a goal in mind when I was going on this trip, as I do on most of my trips to Florida: to trick a man into letting me onto his boat. It literally does not matter to me who More

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Total Sorority Move

What Your House Party Sneaker Says About You

We are all more than familiar with the house party sneaker. Every cute girly wears her perfectly planned outfit, only to wear a dirty-ass white sneaker for shoes. Business on the feet, party on the top. Men who have a problem with girls wearing sneakers with their Princess Polly two-piece body con outfit, stop being More

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Total Sorority Move

Three Lessons Cardi B Taught Me About Men

In 2020, my number one song on my Spotify recap was WAP. My number two song? Bodak Yellow. What can I say? I have the same taste in music as a strip club that has a Hennessy shot and lap dance special. But music is art. Art is meant to teach us. So here’s what More

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Total Sorority Move

Uber Etiquette

I know what you’re thinking, Alyssa, how can you sit here and tell me how to act in an Uber when you’re banned from the app because you threw up in one on your 21st birthday? I can’t. Therefore, I’m not here to lecture you on how to act IN an Uber, but I’m here More

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Total Sorority Move

I Bullied My Boss Into Sending Me On Vacation and Paying For It

Here’s a life lesson for everyone:  If you want something, you have to work for it. For example, last week, I wanted to go on vacation. So what did I do? I worked for it.  “Working for it” is super subjective, though, right? I mean, if you want to get technical, the word “working” could More

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Total Sorority Move

A College Girl’s “Notes” App

If you can gain access to a girl’s notes app, you would have the ability to single handedly ruin her life. Without even trying, we have turned our notes app into a cryptic and telling story.  Similar to a diary, the things we put into our notes app are not meant to be shared as public More

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Total Frat Move

Types of Hangovers

Projectile There is nothing worse than waking up after a night out and immediately having to throw up. Sometimes this is a one and done experience, but other times this is an all day affair. The projectile hangover can hit at any hour of the day. One minute you’re fine going to get food with More

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Total Sorority Move

I’d Rather Eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch Than…

1. Anything you made in your air fryer 2. Ted Cruz’s dick 3. Coleslaw (Fuck coleslaw) 4. The eggs he made me the next morning 5. Turkey (It tastes like napkins, don’t @ me) 6. Anything on the Long John Silver’s menu (That franchise is 100% a money laundering scheme) 7. Vegan cheese 8. Flavored More

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Total Sorority Move

Reasons Our Boss Should Fly Us to Ft. Laudy

My boss, Dallas, is a great guy. He’s funny, smart, handsome, super great, and perfect. Also, he should fly Alyssa, Grace, and I to Fort Lauderdale so we can party for a week. Did I mention he’s perfect? Alyssa, Grace, and I all write for TSM, and the three of us are basically the same More

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