We’ve begun entering one of my least favorite Instagram seasons: the beginning of a semester. “Why?” you probably didn’t ask, but don’t worry, I will tell you. It’s around this time that my feed becomes flooded with videos on each of your Instagram stories. The videos consist of what seems like thousands of pictures each shown for one second where you’re all wearing
stupid quirky matching outfits and hugging each other. I think they’re called recruitment videos, but maybe they’re called something else. That doesn’t matter. Whatever their real name is, they fucking suck.
I get the point, I guess. You guys have to make your stuff all public and get people to see it and that stuff, but let me ask you this: Is there any possible way that you could find something that isn’t so incredibly awful to look at? I mean really. Throw a picture of the schedule for all your activities on there or something like that. I understand that. Seeing 79 girls that I don’t know wearing boas and cheetah print skirts is possibly one of the most annoying experiences that I have on social media. Right there behind people reposting birthday shoutouts and a couple posting a 3-month, 2-week, 4-day, 16-hour, and 21-minute anniversary pictures.
And I get it. I could pretty easily just skip through them and not think anything of that. I know I could do that. But I don’t. That’s because I’m like most people – people who have an obsessive need to totally and completely consume their social media feed. It’s a compulsion. So, when I have to see that shit, it makes me seriously consider aggressively jumping up and down on the balcony outside me room (for reference, the wood is completely rotted and each time I step on it there’s a sound that tells me at some point I may drop straight through and break both my legs during the three-story fall to the ground). So hey, let’s just stop that, okay? Is that something that can happen?