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Betting on College Football: If you need a locksmith, call me

Just wanted to check in real quick, just to see how everything is going. I hope you had a fantastic week 0 of college football, whether you gambled or not. Honestly it is truly an awesome time of year even if you weren’t planning on gambling at all, not even one cent. 

But I will say, not every game is going to be a shootout or entertaining. In fact, some games will be boring barn-burners. Gambling can turn shitty meaningless games into an absolute mental priority and must-see television.

Last week, I felt charitable and decided to give out 3 games I liked. I went 3-0 betting against the spread, no surprise there, of course. Those bets simply could not lose. If you took my advice, you are welcome. I hope I was able to provide you some financial aid. 

If you didn’t see my blog or did see it and ignored it all together, no problem. I mean, there is a problem, I’m just being polite as you’ve probably been called a ‘moron’ for most of your life and you don’t need me to rub it in. Just use this blog as your wake-up call and hopefully you will be smart enough to cash in on the next opportunity to win free money. 

Be on the lookout for my gambling guidance blogs, they really can only help. Unless of course they lose… and then it’s not my fault, as you didn’t have to listen to me. 


It’s never your own fault, as the blame and responsibility can always be shifted. And you can always just place another bet to cover some losses

I love gambling.

I’m going to keep a running tab of my wins and losses to show some credibility. We’re off to a great start.



Written by Henry Marken

I lost my pinky finger at age 4, but then found it again at a soup kitchen when I was 15. Survivor of a wild turkey attack (2008). I went to the University of Phoenix before it was cool to do college online. Currently in a lawsuit with Crayola after a devastating purple crayon incident.

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