TFM
Drake just released his fifty-eighth eighth (has it really only been that many) studio album last night, and then proceeded to announce that he is taking a break from creating music to focus on himself. He claims that the hiatus is for him to focus on himself and his health, but I feel like this might be a more calculated career move. Here are five career paths that I think Drake might pursue next.
Bus Driver
Drake has a son that he doesn’t get to spend much time with. What better way to be with his kid throughout the day then driving him to school. Most people don’t realize the perks that come with being a bus driver. You get to have the middle of the day, and summers off. Music provides none of these breaks. It’s a sweet gig that gets a bad name due to pedophiles.
Acting Coach
Most people don’t realize that Drake has a failed acting career to go along with being the most commercially successful rapper of all time. He apparently played some kid in a wheel chair on a kid’s show or something like that. He could take the wise words of Gene Cousineau: “When you can’t act, teach.”
Lifeguard
I understand that art allows people to create meaning in their lives. But lifeguard is way more valuable to the human race than rapper is. Drake could finally add a new layer of meaning to his life by saving people’s lives. A new purpose for Drake would serve as a breath of fresh air for the remainder of his music career.
Uber
“Yeah guys it says Aubrey is pulling up in a Toyota Corolla right now.” Imagine getting into an Uber and having Drake drive you around. Even better, imagine if he refused to talk to you about anything other than his career driving Uber. “Yeah man, I just like that I don’t have to worry about tour dates, and get to make my own schedule instead.” I just wonder if people would still throw bras at him.
Etsy Shop Owner
In the film masterpiece, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, Connor4Real begins selling art online after his career goes into the trash. Maybe Drake can do the same. If he attaches his name on it, he’ll make good money. If he doesn’t, he’ll go back to his roots as an artist trying to make it on his own.
