TFM
Labor Day was this past weekend. This means that school season is officially in full swing. Stay at home parents are returning to the daily routine of sticking their hands down their pants to the guest on the Rachel Ray show before their afternoon nap. Despite this, a lot of kids are forced to spend hours a day listening to someone who loved school so much they decided to make it their life. It can be pretty unbearable, and it requires students to find creative ways to pass the time.
Watch a Movie in Your Head
This one is a great way to pass the time in a college class. One way to do this is to pick one of your favorite movies, and run it back in your head scene for scene. You can also take a movie that has giant fundamental flaws. One movie I mentally stream during class is Predestination. The first eighty percent of that movie is pretty great. Every time I watch in class, I come up with a new ending. None of them are as bad as the original. Great way to pass the time in a boring lecture.
Blood Flow Roulette
I created this game accidentally in grade school. The first step is to start having an erotic day dream. Maybe Alexandra Daddario gives you a hug after the two of you beat the Williams sisters in a double’s tennis match. It doesn’t matter. It’s whatever gets you going. As your zipper region begins to puff up, you must think of the least sexy thing on the planet. Maybe it’s your grandfather’s post-Thanksgiving bowel movement. Make the fantasies your own. As long as you are playing dangerous games with your flaccidity, your class will fly by.
Poop
I’m going to bet you’ve heard of this as a time killer before. Most people perfect this method by the time they get to middle school, yet it’s true value comes in secondary education. By the time you get to college, professors no longer chastise you for being in the bathroom for too long. This means you can easily stay in there for thirty to forty-five minutes as long as you’re ok with the cute Bio major knowing about your fecal schedule.
Instigate Your Class
Maybe it’s just my school, but I feel like everyone is always agreeing with everyone. People shoehorn race into every conversation, meaning you hear the same teenage middle-class liberal agenda on Critical Race Theory once a week. If you want to entertain yourself, disagree with these people. Every good movie has a villain, and if no one else is going to do it, you should step up.
Create Conspiracy Theories
Did you know Derek Jeter was a card-carrying member of the Communist party? He obviously was not, but not everyone on Reddit knows that. Most modern conspiracy theories are recycled and boring, so it’s hard to find new ones to entertain yourself after your sophomore year. I’ve found that trying to convince people of asinine facts on the internet is a fun activity that can sustain you way longer than you’d think.
