I Hate Rooting for D’Andre Swift

D’Andre Swift is pretty good at football. He proved this to the world last night, but unfortunately I’ve known this for a long time.

I played football at the junior varsity level in high school. Some would say I dominated that level, but I won’t get lost in semantics. What is an objective fact, is that I made a routine of getting planted into the ground by varsity players in practice. In my mind, they were really good high school football players. That was until we played our rivals, St. Joes Prep. In my sophomore year, he scored seven touchdowns against us in one game. 

With all due respect to the guys who would move me like I was a towel, they were nothing compared to D’Andre Swift. We had a pep rally at our school about how we were going to stop him. He then proceeded to score seventy-five fantasy points without breaking a sweat. I don’t care that I know a lot of people who’ve met him and say he’s a nice, down-to-earth guy. He is a villain in my eyes.

This brings us to last night. As an Eagles fan, last night’s game was tough to watch at times. They recovered four fumbles, and still struggled to gain a lead at times. And then D’Andre Swift happened. He took the ball up and down the field, gaining 170 yards and a touchdown. It was pretty incredible, and I was cheering the whole time. Then the game ended. 

After the game, Swift was the man of the hour. He was asked if he’s ever had a game like that. You’ll never guess whose high school caught a stray in his response. As I tried to celebrate the Eagles going to 2-0, I had to be reminded of my lack of athleticism, football skill, and grit. I watch the Eagles to watch others live out my football fantasies, not to be reminded of my failures. 

My ultimate problem is that I do have to root for D’Andre Swift. Cheering for him is a painful kind of fun. But he’s the best back on the roster, and is going to be a problem for defenses going forward. 

I must say while high school stats are being brought up, it wasn’t like that in every game against LaSalle. His selective memory has allowed him to forget about the time he was held below thirty yards in a losing championship effort. Go Birds. *gulp* Go Swift.

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Written by TFM

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