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Portland State’s Head Coach Has Promised To Buy All The Beer For Anybody Who Shows Up

Portland State has now become a must-go this Saturday. Not only can you trip balls, smoke some crack in Oregon, but now you can get free beer at the Portland State game. Head coach Bruce Barnum doesn’t give two shits if you’re only there for the free beer and don’t care about the game. Hell, you don’t even have to like football. All you need to do is like beer. You could pop in some AirPods, waste 3 hours watching YouTube clips or TikTok, and get free beer from it. Everybody loves free beer, especially if it’s at a sporting event. You need to give your left nut or first child to afford more than 3 beers at a sporting event. I don’t think of Portland, Oregon as a football powerhouse like Alabama or Texas, so you need to be creative to get people to go to your games.

Portland State is technically a D1 college, but they aren’t in the same league as college football powerhouses. They have started off the season with two losses, the first being to Hawaii 35-49, and then to Washington State 24-44. The more important thing is that Portland State covered the spread in both of those games. Portland State might be a dark horse for a great team to cover the spread each week. They won’t win many games, but we don’t care about that as gamblers as long as they are covering the spread they win in my heart. This weekend though, they play Western Oregon, a D2 school; the odds are in their favor to win this game. Nobody wants to go to a blowout game, but if they are offering free beer, it makes every play a lot more exciting. People love free shit. Somebody buys you a beer, and it’s the best-tasting beer that night, somebody buys you a coffee, and you don’t care that you normally take it with one cream, and they decided you wanted 5 creams. Free shit is the best, so if you live near Portland, have no plans, and wanna get hammered for the price of one ticket to a football game Portland State is your place on Saturday.

What do you think?

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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