I love 21st century marketing. From Onlyfans models promoting themselves by flashing live TV cameras to rappers releasing full feature films for upcoming albums, it seems like everyone tries to think outside the box when it comes to garnering attention. Well, America’s largest sandwich chain may have just come up with the craziest marketing scheme yet.
Subway is offering up free sandwiches for life to one lucky person who legally changes their name to “Subway.” Yes, I am being completely serious.
Don’t go change your name quite yet, though. Subway is only offering this deal to one person, so in order to choose who it will be the sub shop is holding a contest.
Entries for the contest will open on August 1 at 9am EST and close on August 4 at 11:59pm EST. Don’t worry, this isn’t the type of contest where you need to write an essay explaining why you deserve to answer to “Subway” for the remainder of your life. Instead, the contest remains purely randomized. On August 7, Subway will hold the official sweepstakes drawing, where one random person will be selected to change their name.
The chosen person will then have four months to prove they have legally changed their name to “Subway.” Once they do so, they will be awarded their prize as well as $750 as reimbursement for the legal fees required when changing your name.
However, there is one catch that Subway tries to hide in their fine print. “Lifetime supply” of Subway truly translates to $50,000 worth of Subway. Rather than simply ordering for free anytime you walk into a Subway location, whoever Subway the person ends up being will instead be given a $50,000 Subway gift card.
Let me start off by saying that $50,000 is not a “lifetime supply.” I’ve done the math. A normal one meat footlong at Subway costs about $9.49 (may differ by location). That doesn’t include bacon, extra cheese, avocado, chips, a drink, or a cookie. If the winner were to go every single day and get one regular footlong sub with absolutely no extras, the gift card would last just under 15 years. Now, Subway the person may not go every single day. Yet, they probably also aren’t just getting a standard one meat footlong. So, really, no matter how you spin it I don’t see a way in which this lasts over 30 years.
With all of that in mind, who is willing to change their legal name for subpar sandwiches? Me, that’s who. You can bet your ass I’m signing up for the contest. I don’t even like Subway that much, but $50,000 worth of fresh baked cookies? That’s a boatload of cookies. Obviously I don’t wanna go by Subway for the rest of my life, but the terms and conditions just say you need to change your name within four months. Nowhere does it say how long you need to keep it that way.
Sure, I’ll lose $750 changing my name back, but I’m still up $49,250 in sandwiches. Now the real question. When I change my name the second time, do I stick with Alex or do something cool like The Chosen One or Grand Master? Hmmm, a lot to think about indeed.
Anyway, if you wanna compete against me you can click here to sign up. Good luck, may the best sandwich eater win.
