The Correlation Between The Weather And Day Drinking in College

Happy multi ethnic friends enjoying drinks at poolside during social gathering

As we near the Spring months in America, the days get warmer, and more and more alcohol is being consumed. But what has truly stumped scientists for decades now is the upward trend of day drinking among the average college student during these months. They are trying to figure out where is the connection between a warm day and drunken debauchery among our college youth.  Well, there is a reason for that, where I go to school at REDACTED University in the northern part of the country, we don’t have very many nice days that would encourage getting shitfaced during the day. It’s either cold as balls or a torrential downpour every other day.

So once in a blue moon when it’s not 45 degrees outside and not raining you have to take full advantage of the opportunities presented to you. Classes on these days become secondary, while drinking and debauchery become your primary goal. By noon if me and the boys are not absolutely shitfaced the day is wasted. If the temperature is in the 60s to 70s the day is entirely dedicated to consuming as much alcohol in a 5-hour period as possible.

Those unlucky bastards who go to northern schools know exactly what I mean, we have to take advantage of the few days we are given to absolutely rage at noon on a weekday. In summary, get hammered huck some die, toss the disc with the fellas, and have a case race. Do anything you want just don’t let a perfectly good day be wasted by class and schoolwork and focus on making drunk stupid-ass memories with your boys. Remember this is America getting drunk and doing a bunch of stupid shit is what we do best, don’t let society tell you when you can and cannot drink. Fuck the system rage with your fellas. 

Written by Nolan Breslin

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  1. I graduated from a University in the UP of MI. It wasn’t uncommon to see girls in swimsuits, sunning themselves in bluebirds days in 40*F weather.

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