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Dakota Johnson Has Great Secret Santa Idea: A Butt Plug

Dakota Johnson, the daughter of Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith who also played a dead fish in ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’, now has the perfect idea for when you pull any name in the office Secret Santa: a butt plug!

It is something she says she will certainly be gifting all around.

The 32-year-old Johnson told InStyle that this holiday season, she’s dropping $30 per plug from Maude, who sells the “Cone” in either dark evergreen and charcoal.

“Oh, this is going in everybody’s stocking. Are you kidding? It’s the perfect stocking stuffer,” Dakota told the magazine. “You think your uncle hasn’t wanted a butt plug his entire life? You’re lying.”

My uncle probably does not want a butt plug. But, I did say probably…

Now, listen, I know this all sounds very sus…. and it is.

Johnson is, ummm plugging the product because she has a financial stake in it. According to the New York Post, Johnson became a Maude co-creative director and investor in 2020. Her first order of business: boost the brand’s butt plug offerings.

So, this is on brand for her.

She also does sound pretty educated on some butt play.

“I know that there are so many people that are curious about it and, you know, there are so many parts of one’s anus that are erogenous zones that I think could just be fun for people to explore,” she said.

So… even though she was about as boring as it gets in bed on the screen, she could be very interesting in real life? Maybe?

What do you think?

Written by Malcolm Henry

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