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How Congress Faired In The Stock Market This Past Year

WASHINGTON, DC - DECEMBER 10: Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), Majority Leader Charles Schumer (D-NY), Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) watch as joint services military honor guard carries the casket of the late Sen. Robert Dole (R-KS) down the steps of the U.S. Capitol after lying in state on December 10, 2021 in Washington, DC. Dole, a veteran who was severely injured in World War II, was a Republican Senator from Kansas from 1969 to 1996. He ran for president three times and became the Republican nominee for president in 1996. (Photo by Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images)

The following is a chart that portrays the members of Congress that beat the S&P 500 this year.

Can we stop? Can we not live in a world where Nancy Pelosi is a corrupt criminal that uses her barren, decaying vagina to distract her supporters from the fact that she boasts tens of millions of dollars in her real estate portfolio AND Mitch McConell is a corrupt criminal that belongs in a home sucking applesauce through a tube? These people are EIGHTY years old. I’m all for respecting our elders, but Demarcus Cousins this is getting ridiculous.

This is the reason why young men like myself flock to podcasts, and the latest Nielsen Report has Joe Rogan blowing traditional media figureheads out of the water. I want to know what is going on in my country without hearing it from people who get paid by Steve Bannon or Pfizer. I’m done receiving emails from my Mom about Mr.Potato Head being trans or seeing the Instagram infographics girls my age post pleading for donation money to support non-binary ice-cream shops. Let’s get our heads out of the sand. We can all agree this is objectively wrong. BAN INSIDER TRADING IN CONGRESS.

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Written by Bobby D'Angelo

TFM middle school penis game champion. Rutgers student.

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