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Five Uncancellable Celebrities

Cancel culture is a real bummer. I get that people need to be held responsible for their actions. But I resent people giving me advice my mother told me when I was a kid. I also like watching Kevin Spacey movies, and him being a piece of garbage doesn’t change that. Despite the fact that comedians and actors are dropping like flies due to off-colored jokes, there are still some celebrities who are uncancellable.

Kanye West

The woke mob probably thinks they can cancel Kanye anytime they want. Then why haven’t they done it yet? Maybe they all secretly love Graduation as much as the rest of us do, or maybe Kanye is as powerful as he claims to be. Either way, criticisms to the wild things he says will continue to roll off of his back. 

Mr. Beast

Mr. Beast has a public support that can truly be earned by giving away million dollars to fans. Everything he is ever doing is for a YouTube video, and he has somehow gotten unbelievably rich by giving so much of his profit to other people, or something like that. I’m not exactly sure how his business works. Either way, he could punch four women in an elderly home and then praise a terrorist organization, and Twitter would get excited for the video of it. 

Nardwuar

Nardwuar is another YouTuber with a giant fan base. Where that is the reason Mr. Beast can’t be cancelled, Nardwuar is entirely different. If Nardwuar was cancelled– let’s just say for animal abuse­ –he would simply find worse information on every single person who tried to get rid of him. Don’t believe me? You do now.

Bill Burr

Bill Burr is louder, and funnier than pretty much everyone else. He also doesn’t care what other people say about him. As a result, a severe drop in public opinion would slide right off his back. Let’s say he made an insensitive joke about a tragedy without a proper grace period, which he would, enough of his fans would find it funny for him to get by. Here’s a clip of him yelling obscenities at a Philadelphia crowd, because I love it.  

Jack Nicholson

He could definitely say something to get himself cancelled. But how do you cancel one of the greatest actors of all time who is retired. He’s rich, so the rest of his life would still be peaceful. His movies from fifty years ago still hold up, so people would keep watching them. Anyone who regularly talks to their grandparents knows that there is a pretty decent chance he has some not-so-PC thoughts running around his old brain. Either way, good luck taking anything away from that guy. 

Sorry ladies, no submissions on the list for you. There were a few good submissions that came to mind. But the speed in which you guys turned on Lizzo showed that no one is safe in your eyes. 

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Written by TFM

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