Brady White
Mascots can make or break a University’s brand. World-famous mascots like the Oregon Ducks or the Florida Gators have turned into multi-million dollar brands. However, some institutions use mascots as an opportunity to really get creative. While most of these are pretty niche colleges that you probably won’t know, their administrators are not afraid to get a little nutty. I honestly gotta give them credit for shattering glass ceilings in the world of collegiate mascots by throwing students in some ridiculous costumes.
Stanford Trees
I’m gonna start off with one that most people know, but it’s definitely a crazy concept for a mascot. The Stanford Tree was first introduced to me when I played the mascot game mode in NCAA College Football 2013 on Xbox. I loved watching those ketchup bottle-shaped trees do backflips. In actuality though, their mascot is dog shit. It looks like they took some recycled cardboard and strung it together. A textbook California L.
Rhode Island School of Design
Scrotie the Scrotum is hands down the craziest mascot on the list. I don’t understand how a college like RISD would have an administration that would sign off on this. I have to respect it though because it takes balls to put your name on something like Scrotie the Scrotum (I had to do it, it was an absolute layup). They did a phenomenal job on those veins, and the blue balls are probably an accurate representation of how the guys are treated at this college.
University of Massachusetts Amherst
At face value, it seems like the Umass Minuteman is just a guy who finishes in a minute. Needless to say, not a good look. The next thing it made me think of was the game show, “A Minute to Win It”. Seriously though, am I an idiot for not knowing what the fuck a minuteman is. Based on the fit, I’m assuming it’s some sort of patriot or colonist, but that is such a shitty thing to pick when you could be any animal in the world. You can even make your University’s mascot a penis if you want. Also, can someone get my guy a little vitamin D, he is looking pale as hell.
St. Louis University
SLU really got creative with the name and concept for their mascot when they went with Billiken the Elf Bat. That’s right, they broke out some cross-breeding when brainstorming this mutant. I guess Billiken is a cool name, but this is easily the most unsightly mascot on the entire list. You think they would have either tried to make him cute or intimidating, but my boy Billiken is neither.
Scottsdale Community College
Artie the Artichoke gets a ten out of ten in the alliteration department, but a zero out of ten in practicality. How do you decide that an artichoke is the best representation of your university? Florida is the Gators, Texas is the Longhorns, and Miami is the Hurricanes. How do you get from Scottsdale to Artichoke? I honestly couldn’t tell you. After all, I am writing about a community college that I would have no idea existed if it wasn’t for the fact that they had a ridiculous mascot.
