Top 5 Craziest College Mascots

IOWA CITY, IOWA- OCTOBER 29: Fans cheer in the student section with the mascot Herky the Hawk during the match-up between the Northwestern Wildcats and the Iowa Hawkeyes at Kinnick Stadium, on October 29, 2022 in Iowa City, Iowa. (Photo by Matthew Holst/Getty Images)

Mascots can make or break a University’s brand. World-famous mascots like the Oregon Ducks or the Florida Gators have turned into multi-million dollar brands. However, some institutions use mascots as an opportunity to really get creative. While most of these are pretty niche colleges that you probably won’t know, their administrators are not afraid to get a little nutty. I honestly gotta give them credit for shattering glass ceilings in the world of collegiate mascots by throwing students in some ridiculous costumes.

Stanford Trees

MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA – APRIL 01: The Stanford Cardinal mascot and cheerleaders perform during a timeout in the third quarter against the UConn Huskies during the 2022 NCAA Women’s Final Four semifinal game at Target Center on April 01, 2022 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

I’m gonna start off with one that most people know, but it’s definitely a crazy concept for a mascot. The Stanford Tree was first introduced to me when I played the mascot game mode in NCAA College Football 2013 on Xbox. I loved watching those ketchup bottle-shaped trees do backflips. In actuality though, their mascot is dog shit. It looks like they took some recycled cardboard and strung it together. A textbook California L.

Rhode Island School of Design 

Scrotie the Scrotum is hands down the craziest mascot on the list. I don’t understand how a college like RISD would have an administration that would sign off on this. I have to respect it though because it takes balls to put your name on something like Scrotie the Scrotum (I had to do it, it was an absolute layup). They did a phenomenal job on those veins, and the blue balls are probably an accurate representation of how the guys are treated at this college.

University of Massachusetts Amherst

WILMINGTON, DELAWARE – MARCH 05: The UMass mascot performs during the game against the Saint Joseph’s Hawks during the Semifinals of the 2022 Women’s Atlantic 10 Tournament at Chase Fieldhouse on March 05, 2022 in Wilmington, Delaware. (Photo by G Fiume/Getty Images)

At face value, it seems like the Umass Minuteman is just a guy who finishes in a minute. Needless to say, not a good look. The next thing it made me think of was the game show, “A Minute to Win It”. Seriously though, am I an idiot for not knowing what the fuck a minuteman is. Based on the fit, I’m assuming it’s some sort of patriot or colonist, but that is such a shitty thing to pick when you could be any animal in the world. You can even make your University’s mascot a penis if you want. Also, can someone get my guy a little vitamin D, he is looking pale as hell.

St. Louis University 

ST. LOUIS, MO. – FEBRUARY 25: The Billiken mascot and an SLU cheerleader in the first half during an Atlantic 10 Conference basketball game between the Saint Joseph’s University Hawks and the Saint Louis University Billikens. (Photo by Keith Gillett/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

SLU really got creative with the name and concept for their mascot when they went with Billiken the Elf Bat. That’s right, they broke out some cross-breeding when brainstorming this mutant. I guess Billiken is a cool name, but this is easily the most unsightly mascot on the entire list. You think they would have either tried to make him cute or intimidating, but my boy Billiken is neither.

Scottsdale Community College

Artie the Artichoke gets a ten out of ten in the alliteration department, but a zero out of ten in practicality. How do you decide that an artichoke is the best representation of your university? Florida is the Gators, Texas is the Longhorns, and Miami is the Hurricanes. How do you get from Scottsdale to Artichoke? I honestly couldn’t tell you. After all, I am writing about a community college that I would have no idea existed if it wasn’t for the fact that they had a ridiculous mascot. 

Written by Brady White

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